A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have an uncaring boy friend, he doesnt seem to care at all, he makes dates and forgets and even forgets to appolgize, he doesnt communicate much, he says he doesnt like phone calls and sms. He even doesnt like going out! he says he loves me but his actions say another thing. When I talk to him about it he either says I am a trouble maker or promises for change, but even when he calls I feel that it's just a duty!I am not asking him to call me every single second, I have a very busy job, but I ask him to call or sms at night but most of the time he doesnt.if we go out, he never calls to check if i arrived safe, or if we go to a place that I dont know he never waits for me to make sure that I know the road back! and even if I am going out of town, he doesnt call to check if I am back and ok!I am really confused why he says he loves me, and acts like this.I dont know if he is a gay, he lives with a guy mate since years and this looks strange for me.Am I asking too much by wanting him to care more? Am I needy? should I stay with him?I feel I cant take his actions anymore and sometimes I feel I am better without him but I do like his funny and generous nature. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Yup, that's called emotional blackmail and it's a bad sign. If he really loved you he'd accept your beliefs because they make you the person he loves.
You could always reply, "I need you to be more caring to even want to consider having sex with you. Right now you're just being a selfish jerk."
The truth hurts, and it would likely help you get out of this bad relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): thx
I would like to add that my bf keeps either complaining or making fun of my beliefs about sex and relationship.
sex before marriage is against my beleifs, and he keeps claimaing that this is the thing that will make us more connected and without that he cant be more caring!!!!
I feel like he is pressuring me. what do you think?
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (6 January 2011):
P.S. Living with a guy mate doesn't make him gay. It's actually pretty common to live with friends of the same sex. Often it's easier than living with someone of the opposite sex.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (6 January 2011):
Actions speak louder than words. His actions speak to his true feelings.
Are you asking too much by wanting him to care more?
Nope.
Are you needy?
Maybe a little, but as long as you're willing to compromise that's not a real issue.
Should you stay with him?
Only you can answer this. I think you should tell him that these kinds of communication mean a lot to you, and you want him to make the effort. If he doesn't, then it may be time to find someone who will.
For what it's worth, most of what you describe is in my normal communication levels for relationships I'm in. While I may not call to check if you got home safe, before we part I'll ask you to at least text to let me know you made it in safely. But that's just me, and everyone is different. Still, there are guys out there who communicate like you want.
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