A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend keeps getting angry with me when i hang around with other boys.Alot of my friends are boys , and when i hand around with them i am relaxed and alot louder and confident than when im with him... he keeps bringing this up in conversations and it really upsets him What should i say to him ? How can i stop him being threatend by my friends ? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, fd +, writes (13 July 2006):
listen, having male "friends" is threatening to every and any male that you are with in a relatioship..does he have girl "friends" calling him, asking him to hang out? does he act different in front of them? what if he did these things? you would surely feel threatened..trust is a word thrown around, but hardly ever followed..trust is built b/c people respect each others feelings on things and don't cross the line with respect to these things..if he doesn't like it, they hey he doesn't like it..as YOU continue to do it, trust is lost and broken..look, i feel it is ok to have a few male friends that you have been friends with your whole life..and yes, it's fine for them to call to say merry x-mas and happy birthday..but beyond that, this is a touchy subject in a relationship and it rarely rarely works..i suggest you respect him and maybe understand his point of view..girls often consider these male their "friends", when really they would just as well sleep with you, then talk with you on the phone..males know this! that is why he feels threatened!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2006): Involve him.
He needs to be spending time with you and your friends.
I was a tomboy and had mainly male friends. Even to this day I still find it easier to have male friends as they are easier to relate to than women friends. It's just who you are.
I don't think you can stop him from feeling threatened by your friends, that is a decision he will have to make. You can however, ease his fears by including him when you hang with your buds. He can take this time to learn who your friends are and learn about you as well as friends are an extension of who we are; on some level.
I would present an oppurtunity to ease his fears before ending the relationship; this way you know you did what you were capable of.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2006): You can't. If he dosne't trust you then there is no foundation in the relationship.
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