A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my common-law husband been together for 5 years and just had our first born, and he is still releasing himself to early, maybe 1-2 mins max, and i dont get to finish or sometimes anywhere near finish. He never had this problem before with his ex's and he does have lots of experience. The only time he lasts long (30-or more mins) is when he was whiskey dick. He doesnt have premature ejaculate. And he doesnt release himself so. Im curious whats going on? Is there something else i should lookout for or worry about?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2014): Try a cock ring too, OP, that can help.
There are lots of things that can help with premature ejaculation.
Mentally he could picture his mother or think about sports or something too.
You have plenty of options and it's fixable, seeing as he's not selfish and willing to fix it then you'll find something.
Best of all though OP, is male kegels. I learned that a long time ago. It takes a lot of training, focus etc. But instead of trying to delay the orgasm it delays ejaculation and lengthens the orgasm. If he's willing to take the time to train that muscle it has amazing benefits.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2014): Im talked and asked ex's, just to see if they had the same problem and they've both been together with him longer than i have. But anyways im clean as a whistle. No warts and we always make sure we look good before the deed . And we do things to spice it up all the time. And do foreplay half of the time, sometimes thats all we do. And we do talk about other things to make it more arousing for the both of us. Sometimes we'll sneak around at home or in public to increase the pleasure, thats when he lasts alittle longer. And we barely go at it at night to so he doesnt go to sleep right after. Possibly 1/3 of the time he finishes me before he gets started. But Thanks anyways well try more of the condoms and toys. Etc.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (15 February 2014):
 I'm used to use feeding as an analogy to sex, as these two phenomenon as a lot in common.Look at people eating and you will have many answers to you questions. In your case, the problem is that your husband is too quick.When people eat, some like their meal to last hours. Reversely, some prefer an easy-to-eat something, rapidly swallowed as to save some time to do something more interesting.When people snack, some like to eat a big bag or a huge bowl of popcorn (they are bags to eat this way non-stop in every theaters). Oppositely, other people like to eat some peanuts, and are done with just six or fifteen seeds.For sex, that's exactly the same mechanism. A lot of people want it to last as long as possible because it's said to be a "virile" trait (many times discussed on Dear Cupid) but some find sex boring to death. They do it because indeed it's pleasurable, but they could as well jack off for the same result. They usually do it just to save their self-esteem (virility) and anyway are compelled to do it... conjugal duties, you know what it means ?While I don't know the details of your relation nor do I know your husband, I suspect him to be bored by his "conjugal duties". It's then maybe time to spice your romps, but before contemplating to introduce sex toys and cosplay in your bedroom, excuse-me to be crude, but how are you physically ? Always super-clean ? Smelling good ? Not too fat ? Don't you have warts ?Sorry, it may sound scabrous, but sex IS scabrous by essence, even if our ancestors have done all they could to wear it with the nice clothes of romance.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 February 2014):
 I'd try using condoms for a while, the DO take some of the sensation away and CAN help him last longer.
I'd also suggest more foreplay so YOU are WAY closer to climax before penetration.
He kind of sounds selfish in bed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2014): "never had this problem before with his ex's"
How do you know? You say that like it's fact when it's not. When a guy says "that's never happened with my exes" it's quite simply a bullshit line to put the blame on you or brush it off as not a problem when it is.
"He doesnt have premature ejaculate. And he doesnt release himself so."
You seem to be confused about how a man's body works, OP. He either does have a premature ejaculation problem or he's purposefully getting the job done quickly so he gets to finish up and go to sleep or whatever afterwards. There is no third option here. It's one or the other. He's either purposefully doing it or he's not. There is no accident when it comes to a long term pattern.
30+ minutes is a bit too long by average too. Most men and women can't go that long regularly and most of the time it's not necessary. 15 to 20 is the average number, lots are perfectly with happy with ten.
Ways to increase lasting distance are easy to find on google. Tactical wanks, condoms with a desensitising cream in them etc.
The thing with ejaculating early is that it's only really a problem if he doesn't make up for it by getting you off with foreplay, fingers, tongue and/or a vibrator and it's only a problem if he refuses to acknowledge it is and do something about it. That bullshit line about it not having happened with his exes seems to imply to me he's making this your issue not his. Hopefully I'm wrong about that but he needs to ensure he gets you off, if not through penetration then foreplay.
If I cum too early I'll go down on my wife and make sure to finish her off. If he doesn't get you off in any way then I suspect he's being a selfish ass, and using the exes thing as cover.
30+ minutes is a bit too much to ask though, OP. maybe you "need" that much time because you don't do enough foreplay.
I think you should do some reading and research about men's bodies too and how they work sexually. You seem to be bowing to his "superior experience" and just letting him get a pass with his line about his exes. Time to do your homework so you have a bit of knowledge on the subject.
Superior experience does not mean good at sex OP, it just means a guy could have been shit for longer, or his exes had different needs to you.
If you don't already then experiment with your own body too, find out all the ways that you can get yourself off so you can add new tricks to foreplay and sex.
1-2 minutes is a problem OP, don't let him brush it off he has to fix that or compensate with oral etc. Remember if it's not a problem of premature ejaculation then he's purposefully getting it over and done with and being selfish. It's one or the other, there is no middle ground and there is no third option.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2014): Sounds like he just wants to get off himself, and get it over with. He's being selfish. There's no emotional attachment. He's seems to be having sex without consideration of your pleasure.
How would you know what goes on with his exes? Were you there?
If he's the type you're able to talk to and works things out; you need to find out if he's bored, and start doing something different and more exciting. If you have only one position and neither of you are adventurous or creative, you're in a rut.
I think you've been together so long, sex is just boring.
He gets on and gets off. Then he probably just rolls over and falls asleep.
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