A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys :)Feeling pretty low right now and would appreciate any advice :)I've been with my boyfriend a few months now and I met him last night so that I could meet some of his friends and people he works with. I had a bit of an argument with him when I saw him as he was being kind of snappy with me for the last two days. I started giving out to him about lack of contact and he replied with 'I'm an independent person... I like you and I'm not breaking up with you but I don't know how I feel because I'm so busy and keep thinking when can I fit you in'... Now I started crying because I was so shocked but we're going away with his mates in a little over a week and he said 'Let's carry on the way we are now and we'll have three days all to ourselves when we go away and we can sort everything out after...'The whole night and this morning after that was perfect, he was being affectionate and nice and making plans to go out before we go away so I'm really confused because he just seemed to forget the conversation we had... I'd be heartbroken if we broke up and I don't want that to happen at all. Everything else is great between us but he is really busy with work, his job is very demanding and I've been told he hasn't been in a proper relationship for about six years... I'm hoping we can work through this... Any advice or interpretation would be brilliant :)
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 November 2009):
Well you know where you stand, you just have to either put up with it or move on.
As perfect as he may be, if he never sees you and gets stressed by work then is he really the boyfriend you want?
This is not going to be the last guy you ever love. It's not him or a thousand cats for ever.
You either have to accept that you will not see this guy very often and have to make sure the rest of your social life is up to scratch to make up for lack of available boyfriend...
OR
Tell him you just can't be in a relationship where you are going to see him so little and get snapped at because work is stressing him out. End it and move on.
It's your choice. He's made it clear that both options are on the table so make it on your terms and not sit worrying and miserable doing nothing about it.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 You said his work is very demanding, and I'd say that is a lot of the problem. He's probably trying to build a career at work (networking, working extra hours to gain credibility in his company etc) and feels pressure from you when you say to him that he's cranky with you. This isn't your fault!
Just ease back, give him the space he needs to process things (Guys tend to process things slowly because they're more logical and less likely to go by feelings) whereas us girls will usually over analyse the situation and find problems where there aren't any!
I'm sure your relationship will work itself out if you both just relax, take the pressure off of both of you. Relationships are never perfect, just concentrate on yourself (spa treatments, walk on the beach, hang out with mates etc) whilst he's getting himself together! Wishing you good luck in the future!
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