A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend told me in a conversation about butterflies, and how he hasn't felt them for a long time. The last time being with this fling/ex of his from years ago - who he concluded was flaky and what he felt was infatuation. I asked him why he thinks he doesn't feel them with me (infatuation is goood in combination with other forms of attraction), and he said that he feels them in spurts. I went on to ask Is it that you're not attracted to me or something, and that's when he said that he's been more attracted to other women than me. I told him I can't help that that makes me feel hurt. He told me, "come on it's not like you're a supermodel, and neither am I". I agree with him there, but at the same time, I think I'm good looking. I don't think I'm the best looking woman in the world, but I think there are different things that make two different people equally attractive. I think I might be getting upset over nothing here..but I can't shake it off. Ever since he said this, I feel a lot less attractive.... even though I'm in shape , and have a great body, hour glass, and proportioned (I'm just trying to be honest...I'm no narcissist)...and people tell me i have a very pretty face ( I don't ask them..they just tell me). My ex before him thought I was the sexiest thing in the world.... I don't but I think I'm good looking...I just don't know why he would tell me that....or why it hurts me this much. I've "gotten over it" with him...but It sits on my mind....and makes me feel sad. Am I crazy?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Butterflies are special. I didn't feel them with my first but I feel them with my second.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): I think deep down he doesn't feel secure with you because you're actually a head turner and he doesn't have what it takes to keep you from straying for a more appealing man. He doesn't want you to feel good about yourself. It's a form of reversed control to beat down your confidence to make sure you don't stray. Ego insult for him. You don't need a man like that. Go for the gold as it seems like you've got of lot of chasers.
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A
male
reader, CaptainObvious  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 You're over analyzing, and he's being honest.
I love my wife dearly, but there are many women that are more physically attractive.
I would never volunteer that, and she has sense enough not to ask.
It works just as well the other way around.
Is he faithful - not just in terms of not screwing around, but does he make you his top priority?
Does he treat you well?
Is he interested in your thoughts and opinions?
These are the things that matter, and both of you should have better sense than to get into comparisons with past loves.
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