A
female
age
30-35,
*ebecca19
writes:What shall I do!?This is going to sound really pathetic and I'm pretty sure what the answer is going to be.Basically I have been with my boyfriend for 2 months now, the thing is he does not like me as much as I like him. I get very jealous of his friend (a girl who is very flirty) as they spend a lot of time together. I keep thinking that I should end our relationship as I know he doesn't really like me that much, but the thing is that I like him too much to do that and would hurt myself much more than I would hurt him. I'm also scared that if i threaten to leave him I would just lose him. I really don't know what to do.. I feel i should prepare myself for our break up by trying to get over him while I am still with him.I'm really unsure.Please reply..Rebecca x
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): It is still early days into the relationship if you have only been together for two months. He probably spends a lot more time with his friend than with you because he knows her well and they are comfortable together. He isn't making much of an effort to really get to know you.
I find it a bit surprising really, because usually at the start of a relationship there is a great deal of excitement, and both people want to spend as much time together as possible, and to find out as much as they can about each other. His lack of interest is rather unusual in my opinion.
I think it would help if you spent more time together and got to know one another better. Could you arrange some times to see him, or make some plans to do something together? Even just a walk, or to see a film or something. Just some time when you can be alone together and get to know each other more.
But if he isn't interested in spending time with you, there isn't much you can do. He needs to make some effort too. If this is causing you a lot of pain, then it might be best to walk away. It will hurt, but at least you will be able to start healing and moving on. Being with someone while feeling that they don't really like you must be a very lonely experience. If he isn't interested in working on the relationship, then there is little point in staying. There will be other people out there who will want to be with you, and will be interested in really getting to know you and spend time with you. Or maybe he will think twice and will decide he doesn't want to lose you. But in any case, if he doesn't try and make an effort with you, then nothing will change if things continue on as they are. I hope things work out well for you, whatever you decide to do. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): You sound a little insecure and not very confident. You are jealous of his flirting, concerned he doesn't like you enough, is going to end it. You need to believe in yourself and try to stop worrying - because it will come over as negative emotion to him. There is something attractive about a person who is confident and at ease with themselves. You are an independent person, you want to be with him but can also do without him. If he wants to go he will. Its only been two months so I would try to wean yourself off being too emotionally dependent on him and work on loving yourself a bit more.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (22 December 2010):
That does sound like a tough situation to be in. Ultimately, however, it takes two people to make a relationship. Both have to be giving 100% of their effort, meeting one another half way, otherwise it falls apart. If he's not in this all the way, it won't work out.But it has only been two months; I'm sure there is still a lot about you he has left to discover. Let him see you for who you really are. Share things with him as though he were your best friend and develop a deeper connection with him. This ensures that you'll be of more meaning to him than some random girl he flirts with.However, it still depends on him. He needs to give you the attention you deserve or else its bound to fail. For now, give it time. Try and get closer to him and allow him to see things about you most people don't know. Once it becomes personal, he'll have much more to lose in not liking you back. But after a while, if he still just doesn't like you the same that you like him, it'd be in your best interest to call it off.Best of luck!
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