A
female
age
26-29,
*iglover
writes:My boyfriend almost never buys me anything, he got me this bracelet that he got downtown it have cost him like about ten bucks and for valentines day he got me a bunch of stuff from jewlery box where evrything is a dollar but he also got me flowers but he didnt get me anything for my birthday except for a 5 dollar ring and he also has a job. i got really mad today cuz he told me he payed for his bestfriend when they where at the store cuz she "accidentally" lost her credit card what the hell what should i do?? please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Ah, I see what you mean. Without knowing what he is like as a person, I think it could be the way he is. Maybe he is the kind of person who likes to buy people things, or feels he should buy people things, and it leaves him with less money for you. You being his girlfriend, you feel he should make you more of a priority than those other girls, which I can understand.
I guess it also brings in the question as to why he is buying things for other girls, and I can imagine that must bother you. So why not try talking to him about it? Ask him why he feels the need to buy things for other girls, and see what he says. If you are still not comfortable after he has explained, tell him how it makes you feel, and that it bothers you. x
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Then tell him so. Tell him that it bothers you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Hi
Ok now you explained the full story , iam sorry you are not a spoilt brat at all. X
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A
female
reader, Biglover +, writes (11 August 2010):
Biglover is verified as being by the original poster of the question No its not that im being materialistic its just that he buys tuff for other girls and not for me and whenever we go out i allways have too pay for his stuff so yea i love him and evrything but thats what i ment it dosent bother me that he buys me nothing it bothers me that he buys stuff for other girls
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A
male
reader, tonik  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 At least he tries, are trying to tell us that expensive gifts define real love? If thats the answer then you are wrong, stop comparing yourself with your friends whom i think brag to you about what their boyfriends bought for them, it seems you ard under peer pressure! Please appreciate every little thng that happens. Love your man, not his money.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (10 August 2010):
I'll add in to what SamanthaX said. I have a friend who's boyfriend had a nice job, and he always got the designer things, like a guess watch, purses, parfumes, you name it. He got her the Iphone when it was brand new and cost a ton of money. He got her expensive brand name clothes... Really, he treated her to trips to France, Portugal... The problem was never the gifts.. it was that he thought he could compensate with the gifts. He wasn't a good boyfriend to her, and because of his job he had to live in another country, and even though he flew her out to meet him, and she had many vacations in London.. well, he didn't even bother to get his computer fixed so they could talk on skype. And that was one of the reason their relationship ended. He bought her fancy gifts, but what are they worth when the guy can't even get his computer fixed so he can talk with his girlfriend? Not much.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (10 August 2010):
He is a young teen, and he can't afford much. Besides, are you giving him tons of stuff? So he got you plenty of gifts, just none that were pricy enough? Are you dating him so that you can only get expensive gifts?
Your boyfriend is totally cool and normal in that department. I think you expect too much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): I personally think he is making an effort with you, but it seems you have a different idea about what he should be buying you. Are you saying you would like gifts more often? Or would you prefer more expensive gifts? Even though he works, it doesn't necessarily mean that he has a lot money, and he probably has to buy other things too.
Are you worried that he doesn't care for you much? Do you feel more reassured when he buys you things? Although it can be nice to receive gifts, it really shouldn't be the focus of a relationship. Apart from this issue, are you happy with him? Does he treat you nicely? Maybe you are just not aware of the gift you do have: the relationship with him. Surely being together with someone you like is worth more than any gift?
I was once in a relationship where the guy never gave me anything. He couldn't afford anything, and he simply wasn't that way anyway. It didn't bother me in the slightest. I loved being with him, and that was the most precious gift to me. I wanted nothing from him. On the other hand, I was once in a relationship with a guy who always wanted to buy me expensive things. Yet it didn't make me happy. I wasn't really that keen on him, so I ended the relationship. The gifts meant nothing to me.
What I'm trying to say is that gifts do not necessarily make for a happy relationship. They're just an added extra I guess, but not necessary. I think it's more important to think about how you feel about him in general, regardless of what he does or doesn't buy you.
So try and notice what you boyfriend does for you, and be appreciative of the things he does give you, even if they don't cost much. They are still very meaningful. But if you are very unhappy because of this issue, then it could be that you are not really that into him after all. I think that if you really, truly like someone, things like gifts do not matter at all. I hope this helps. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): He does buy you things, and it's the thought that counts. You're just being materialistic and wanting him to spend MORE money on you.
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