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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi,lately I've really been missing all my friends and this weekend there is a huge party happening which is really exciting because i'll get to see all of my friends there. the problem is i know that this boy (let's call him Shaun) is going who my boyfriend has a huge problem with because me and Shaun used to be really good friends and we hooked up and i kept our conversations a secret from my boyfriend blablabla basically he doesnt trust me with Shaun and doesn't want me to ever speak to him or even acknowledge him. i've managed to avoid Shaun well up until now 'cause i really wanna go to this party with my boyfriend but i am not the kind of person who can just blatantly ignore someone or be rude to someone's face which is what my boyfriend expects me to do to Shaun otherwise i just know he'll be so pissed with me and we'll have another huge fight about Shaun which i really hate. What to do?!?! it sounds fairly ridiculous but this is the party of the year! also how long can i go on avoiding Shaun you know? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Milo-kid  +, writes (26 March 2009):
hey home-girl:-). wel my girlfriend also have a so-called guy friend, and i wholeheartedly hate their friendship. and i noticed that de reason i hate it so much is dat i truely love my gal and i'm very jealous of her. so it might be that your bf loves u a bit too much and he knows as much i do that its very rare for different sex friendships to be innocent friendships. even if u 2 wont become lovers but there wil be a tym wher u'l do silly thin
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): You have a choice, it's your boyfriend or Shaun. Who should you care more about that your being rude to? Your boyfriend or shaun? Your not with Shaun..period. Your boyfriend has good reason not to like him b/c you have hooked up with him and had relations/"conversations" with him behind your boyfriends back. Think of it this way, if the situation were reversed, would you want your boyfriend going to the party?? Wouldn't you want him to choose you and blow the other girl off? Relationships sometimes call for sacrifice if you really care about the person. Your boyfriend should mean more to you than Shaun. Also to answer your question about how long you should go on avoiding Shaun....as long as you have a boyfriend b/c he obviously is someone that is potential for you to cheat with..........see if your boyfriend will want you two to go to the party if you make it clear that you don't care if shaun is there and have no intentions of speaking with him.
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A
female
reader, Elisa  +, writes (26 March 2009):
this all boils down to how much you love your boyfriend. if you love him and want to be with him you could go to the party and either A) ignore shaun or try to avoid him with out seeming rude or B) wait for him to approach you (which he may not do) and if he speaks simply reply nicely back with you boyfriend back and end the conversation (if one ensues) with 'i'm sorry but me and my boyfriend have to go and see (insert a friends name) now' also introduce your boyfriend to him as your boyfriend and this will asure your boyfriend that you respect him, also pay lots and lots of attention to your boyfriend, such as public displays of affection and this will make your boyfriend feel much more secure and it shows him that you are dedicated to him.
my thoughts are with you
Elisa
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