A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for over two years now. Last week, he left to go out of town. We made plans earlier in the day to see each other that evening. As we were talking, he stated to me he was going to call me back. He never did. He left the following day, never bothering to contact me - not even when he woke up that morning, not even on the way to the airport, not even at the airport - not until he was halfway across the country. He sends me a text that said "hey babes" like nothing is wrong. Three hours later he sends me another text telling me that he loves me. The next day when I expressed my hurt that he would just up and leave like that I got no acknowledgment. I also stated to him the following day after that, that my feelings don't matter to him. No acknowledgment. What do you do when you've let someone know that they hurt you and they won't even acknowledge it?
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (2 October 2009):
 Thanks for clarifying, anonymous. It helps when trying to develop an informed opinion. :-)
I am only going to tell you how I would handle it.... you can take that information, pick it apart and take what is useful and abandon what is not to your heart's content...
I would NOT tell him I am hurt (again). The guy knows and as you've said, doesn't care. Why waste your breath? Why feel hurt again that he ignores your feelings?
I would take this time while he is away to really look inside myself to see what I want out of A relationship (not this relationship - my IDEAL relationship). This is important, because sometimes we lose track of what we want as we struggle with the day-to-day.
You were stood up by a guy who's possibly cheating. By a guy who's "done this before" and you later found out was with someone else. (I presume that someone else was a woman).
Is it possible that he is dating more than one woman at once?
You are with a man who does not appear to place much importance on your happiness.
How does the above compare to your ideal relationship?
It might be time to move on to greener pastures. You have a lot of thinking to do. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHanks CaringGuy, good to have a male's POV. I will try that approach with him. I know that he will that I'm just over-reacting and being petty, but this isn't something petty to me, it's disrespectful.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 October 2009):
If he's done this before, then you need to see what this relationship means to him. A one off, I can understand, but don't let this guy treat you this way. Speak to him about how he sees this relationship. You don't need to be treated so insensitively. And I don't think you're overreacting. Most guys at least say goodbye before leaving, they don't just leave they day before.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Lola, thanks for your input. This is not the first time this has happened. He wasn't scheduled to fly out until the next day - we talked about it previously and decided that we would spend our last night together before he left town. I don't feel that I am over-reacting - he has done this several times in the past, and when I did some investigating I found out he was with someone else. He is not sure how long he is going to be away. As far as I am concerned I feel that he did stand me up after committing to staying with me. I've expressed my feelings to him, and decided not to say anything else about it, he knows how I feel. Having him not acknowledge my hurt says that he doesn't care about my feelings, it's insensitive. Honestly, I don't feel that I am over-reacting.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (1 October 2009):
It's unfortunate that he can't at least say, "I'm sorry you got hurt," but he may not wish to say that because he thinks you are over-reacting. Frankly you could be.
He was about to leave on a plane trip to go across country. Is it not possible he got busy with last-minute details? He had already been in touch.
How long was he going away for? Did he stand you up?
Regardless of the above, do not keep poking someone once you've said you're upset. Statements like, "my feelings don't matter to you," make you sound childish and whiny. It takes away from any justified reason you may have to be upset.
It says, "I'm pouting."
Let me know about the answers to the above questions and I will be able to help you more.
Good luck.
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