| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend does not like my ex husband doing my laundry. He called my ex a saint for doing it and said he must care about me to do it still. Like there is an emotional connection and he feels I should finish with the relationship entirely. But the relationship was finished years ago, by me. My ex and I share a child together.Should I stop to appease my boyfriend?I am renting and my landlord does not grant me access to his washer and dryer.My ex is doing my laundry to save me money from the laundromat. Is this wrong? Should I stop this arrangement to appease my boyfriend?Opinions?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 April 2017):
 Although I personally would find this one strange, you don't have access to a washing machine and yes your ex is being very good offering to do your washing. You share a child together so it is great you can both be adults about this. My guess is your boyfriend is insecure and still thinks their is feelings between you both, but hey you share a child so that is a close bond. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him the money you save on laundry goes on your son. If he is not happy then it is his problem not yours.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2017): When I read the title of this, I thought 'What??' The I rea the rest ofthe question and thought 'Ah!'
Ask your boyfriend to do the laundry instead, see what he says!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 March 2017):
 Since when is your laundry any of your BF's business?
I'd ask him why he feels that is any of his concern or control.
Some couples who SHARE a child can be civil and do things for each other without there really being strings attached. Like doing laundry.
Especially if you live in a place where you can't do it yourself. Has he TRIED to do laundry for two at a laundry mat? That would be SEVERAL hours each week on laundry! And then there is the whole "EEKK" factor, the cost, and the simple annoyance.
My guess is IF you were the one with the washer/dryer and your ex were in a spot where he needed it done you would either offer to do it or give him access too? Since you are seemingly civil with each other.
What does your BF think this favor is about? That you "pay" the ex in "trade" for doing laundry? That the ex is panty sniffer? What exactly is the problem?
You ex MIGHT still care, but I think he is doing this to be a decent person.
My ex-bf came and used my washer/dryer for a couple a months after his washer broke down, now I didn't DO his laundry but he was welcome to use my machines as long as he called ahead. Wasn't because I had an ulterior motive of getting him back, I was just being nice and I knew how much it sucked to sit at the laundromat. Before I got my own washer and dryer I took my laundry back home to my parent house and did it there.
I see no romantic gesture here that really SHOULD upset your BF. Unless your BF wants to do your laundry or offer up HIS machines for you to use, I'd tell him it's none of his business.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (23 March 2017):
Your boyfriend is being very childish about this, especially at his age (assuming he is around your stated age). Your ex was certainly exposed to your laundry when you were together, and he is the father to the child who is generating some of the laundry. By itself, this is not a huge deal. But it raises a little red flag as it makes me wonder about your boyfriend's attitudes toward other things.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2017): Don't stop this arrangement simply to appease your boyfriend, stop it to grow up. For heaven's sake, clothes are a very personal affair that should not be in the hands of your ex for no good enough reason. Would you be happy if your boyfriend's clothes are washed by his ex?
P.s. why should your ex husband care about saving you coins? And if you ended it, why tolerate it? Where is your independence
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 March 2017):
 Uh oh! You share a child with your ex, the child, as well as yourself, will generate laundry. Your option is to use a laundromat, which costs, or ex husband will do laundry for you at no cost which effectively gives you more cash in hand to provide for the child you share .... do I get that right?
Is your boyfriend prepared to cover cost to do your laundry at the laundromat if you stop the arrangement currently in place to appease his hurt little feelies?
As for finishing your relationship with your ex entirely has your boyfriend forgotten you and the ex share a child, and so are forever joined together forever and ever ... special events at school, school plays and concerts, graduations, special holidays, future engagements and marriages, grandchildren and so forth and so on.
Has your genius of a boyfriend not worked out what sharing a child means or is he expecting you to cut all contact with your ex for the child you share as well?? How is that going to work?
Your ex husband is doing you a favour to save money, appreciate that and thank him as effusively and often as you like, if and when he finds himself in another relationship that favour may end, or if you move and have access to laundry facilities.
Your boyfriend is not offering any options, from what you have said he is not adding anything positive, just demands that things be done to suit him and nobody else.
Tell him if he wants you to not have your ex do the laundry then he needs to cover the cost of having it done elsewhere and as for you cutting all contact with ex completely, tell him he's dreaming.
Looking at your choices from a distance, I'd say keep the ex in your life, (as an ex), he is at least giving positive input, and toss the boyfriend.
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