A
female
age
41-50,
*isgusted510
writes:My boyfriend is STILL complaining about me being too loose down there and accusing me of cheating. I have tried desperately to no end to tighten my vaginal muscles; ben wa balls, smart balls, china shrink cream, tighten her uo sure grip gel, vinegar baths and douches, kegels (excessively), been to two different doctors (all denying anything is wrong and referring me to counseling instead) and NOTHING has worked! My boyfriend hates sex with me. He says I am loose, wet and sloppy...a queef too much which verifies the looseness and causes major embarassment for me. He compares me to a prostitutes p**** and calls me a slut. I am not cheating and have tried everything. My self-esteem is so low and he uses this as a cause to abuse and mistreat me. I keep thinking that if I magically tighten up, our relationship will go back to the way it is. I am so sick and depressed behind this. Is there anyone else out there that has been through the loose vagina dilemma and do you have any suggestion???
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depressed, muscle, prostitute, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, disgusted510 +, writes (26 February 2010):
disgusted510 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the wonderful, caring responses. You all are right, I need to step back and re-evaluate myself and the situation that I am allowing myself to be in.
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Being loose is not your problem. He is! I promise you that even if you did tighten up he wouldn't treat you any better and you'd still be feeling depressed. Stop trying to do everything you can to please him, including putting up with this abuse. Get out of this damaging relationship and work on making yourself happy. Happiness is never going to come from being with somebody like this.I think you must know deep down that this isn't really the issue and that he doesn't care for you at all. If he did he wouldn't be saying these hurtful things to you would he. Read back your question imagining it's written by somebody else. What advice would you give that woman...?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 February 2010):
You know he doesn't love you. And you know in your heart that your relationship won't change. It won't change, because this is the man he is. The man he was before was nothing but an act. Now I know you have low self esteem, and I'm sure that's preventing you from leaving. But this is a guy who has compared you to a prostitute, calls you wet, sloppy and loose and accuses you of cheating when you haven't. That's a really long list of reasons to leave. The truth is there's nothing wrong with you. This idea that a woman is 'loose' is just a male insult. You need to come back to reality and accept nothing will change. He takes pleasure in hurting you. That's his kick. His kick comes from the control he has over you. That's why you need to leave.
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A
male
reader, weparley +, writes (20 February 2010):
Why don't you just leave if you feel this way? I don't understand women sometimes. "Just walk away from the relationship"...why stay if you're depressed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): You should consider dumping him. He isn't treating you right. Your guy should be focusing MORE on your wellbeing (like recovering your low self esteem and depression) and not abuse you because you are loose down there. Stop the abuse, dump him and move on to someone better...You deserve someone better. Relationships are more than just about sex. He clearly has his priorities wrong. Sorry to be harsh, but I highly doubt your relationship will recover even if you become tigher. If he really was in love with you, this shouldn't even matter to him. Move on and stop dreaming.
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