A
female
age
41-50,
*weething
writes:Hello, I got a question about my bf. We together 1,5 years. Our sex life was very good when we started and we did allot of stuff in the bedroom. However, my bf made me believe that he is a quiet and shy type, as he was not into experimenting with vibrators e.c. He one of not many man who can't stand a blow job, but as he said to me - he doesn't mind go down on me. I excepted it and was cool with it and , really didnt want to be as wild with him as I felt i could. But with the time, our sex life died down . I was open about my concern and we spoke and we had the best make-up sex. But then again, everything went back to "normal" . In fact he only goes down on me now if it has been a really long time since he've done it last. But my ? is not about it. Recently, i look through his computer and found out that his friends keep sending him nusty porn and pics of naked women. Iam, myself, I e-mail to him some stuff my friends sent me , but he asked me not to do it anymore as he doesn't look at stuff like this and he can care less about adult vidoes or pics. I am an open mind girl and i would of had no problem with him or us watching it as long as he wouldn't make me to believe that he is shy and embarassed about it. Yet, turned around to be - he is not, when such a info come from his friends. So i brought it up to him and he didn;t want to talk about it. U know, if i would have great sex life- i would only encouraged such interest of his, thinking he might learn smth and try it on me. He told me this is what guys do , they look at pics of naked women and talk about it and he can't talk about it with me. I felt like i am not enough for him. I felt like every time he shares this with his friends he saying that :" look , it's better then what i have" . I felt upset, jealous, selfish and obsesed now with what he might get on his e-mail again from his friends to hide it from me!! .I know its sound crazy, but i am, being so open minded, never felt such way before. It's driving me insane, thinking he would hide such stuff from me , not talk about it, embarresed about it . Why?! After all , he is not that shy to look at exposed pics, but in the bedroom it is only a dogy style ... How can i get over it? How can i tell him that it is ok with me to know he likes to look at adult stuff. ? Should i be worried that it is smth missing in me? Becauose of him hiding it - i become jealous for no reason . thank you.
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male
reader, TaoTang  +, writes (17 May 2009):
 Im a very shy guy and my friends talk about porn and sex also and i get in on the conversation and joke, but when it comes to talking to girls and trying to go on dates and such my voice gets really soft i feel very hot and i turn somewhat redI dont think porn should be something to ruin a relationship, if you dont like him looking at porn tell him to stop, if he really likes you he will stop and respect your wishes if not than do what you want i dont no what you should do
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (29 April 2009):
 Discussing porn is a cover up - so he can talk about sex like the others without having to talk about his own personal sex life I'm thinking. He needs to be more confident - good sex is all about the communication, and once you lose your inhibitions once, you're not shy the next time =]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): i've had issues witht his, but you know, i talked to him. you see, guys have a "pack mentality", which means when they're witht he guys they're totally different... you know, like they have a certain image to maintain... my boyfriend for example... he has a VERY perverted friend... his friends sends him lots of pictures of naked girls... and of course my boyfriend plays along, mostly because if he doesn't then he'll friend will make fun of him or something... but my boyfriend isn't too much into looking up pictures of naked girls...the same with alcohol and partying... sometimes when we're around tehir friends my guys will be like "yeah, beer, woo hoo!!!!", but he's a normal sensitive, level-headed guy in reality. he isn't drinking beer every chance he gets... it's just the pack mentality...it doesn't mean that's who he is... plus, i don't think he says "this is better than what i have"... maybe yes, he says "wow, she's very hot!", but i'm sure he doesn't compare you when he talks with his friends... guys are3 immature sometimes, but hey, that's who they are.
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