A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok well my bf cheated on me with my bestfriend not even just once but like 4 times in like a few days and i found out obviously which he is also her ex boyfriend and she cheated on her boyfriend with mine but what do i do its hard for me to be mad at my bestfriend because shes closer then a sister but thats so messed up should i forgive either of them or what ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2014): the same thing happened to me I dropped the boyfriend kept the best friend who confessed the reason she did it was because she was jealous of the time I was spending with him he went to college said he wanted to sleep with others and still want to see me I said no way and we broke up
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female
reader, linaru10 +, writes (3 January 2012):
Me and my boyfriend just had our anniversary yesterday and he cheated on me with my bestfriend.. he told me she started hitting on him and he was sorry to have given in. They made out. He told me the next day what happened at first he told me he gave her a new years kiss she had asked for and i was not that surprised but then he told me they kissed again and i felt betrayed. Later on that day, my friend messaged me and told me she had to tell me something, i told her i didnt wanted to talk to her. So she said i must've know by now what had happened so she said to give her a chance to tell her story, i said ok. I feel betrayed by both my heart is hurting i feel so empty idk what to do, i still want my boyfriend so much i cant leave him and i hate myself for that. My friend is a cheater i know that, she cheats on her bf all the time thats why im so confused idk who to bealive, please i just need some advice on what to do.
P.S help me this is my first long relationship and im so hurt but im clinging to him:(
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female
reader, Ning123 +, writes (11 June 2011):
Am sorry to hear the same happend to me just that my friend told me her self idk its almost been a year since this happend and iam tierd of acting like nothing happend my boyfriend said that he naver did nothing with her but my friend saids that made out and i trully dont now who to belive consitering that ive known my frien for 5 yrs and she has lied to me so many times and she has also made out with her cousins boyfriend but with this said ur not the only one i know what ur feeling
Ps: me and my boyfriend have been happier then before and we dont let stuff like ppls like her be in our life. And sure ull b happy soon :)
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reader, alwayss +, writes (17 May 2011):
My boyfriend cheated on me with my bestfriend after a year and 5 months. We all hung out together and they started calling eachother bestfriends then the next thing I know I find out he likes her and they kissed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): I've gone through alomst the same situation you have . I went out with this guy for a year and three months. I introduced my friend to him..at first he hated her bcuz he thought she was annoying..then time passes by and they start calling eachother bestfriends?..more time passes by and I see her texting him and the both of them having late night disscussions on the phone..next thing they start saying that they love eachother..I found out like 2 months later after we broke up that they've been getting w/eachohter behind my back(more than once) while we were going out..I found out on the internet and my TRUE friends spilled the beans about everything they knew. I literally was yelling and crying when I found out. Everytime I repeat this story I always get teary eyed because I have NEVER gotten my heart crushed like this before. If I could go back in time I would have ended the relationship w/ me and him when they strted getting close in the first place. I love him to death so I gave him another chance cuz I know were gnna make it if we try..the "bestfriend" on the other hand is long gone. I dropped her like a bad habbit. She's nothing but a fake bitch who is lost in the world..I still see her around but it is not the same when we talk. I forgave her but I will NOT forget for what she did. It's really up to you if you think that guy is worth it but "bestfriends" would not do that to you in the first place..
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): No. Never.
She should have been closer than sister it means never betray you. But she did. If you really want to keep your boyfriend just cut her out from your life and make impossible for him to see her. Your best friend is your worst enemy. She knows everything about you and can destroy you any second, she obviously knows more than your bf.
Or arrange the threesome with her. So your bf will see how cool and sexually open you are. And your BBF won't be a problem anymore.
But according to my experience it's always better to sacrafice this bitch who betrayed you for the relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): today my "best friend" told me that my bf is going out with her and im not thinking on talking to her, but its really my bf fault because he asked her out, but im still super angry with by "best friend" becuz she knew that i acutually loved him and it seemed like he actually loved me too. For now on im going to try to ignore both of them and get over this dude.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): well i saw my bf making out with my best friend and i thought something was going because he awalys looked at her in a way that he never looked at me like. i ignore both of them now and i know they feel bad about it thats what u gotta do. btw were 15 years old
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reader, jferrara +, writes (15 August 2010):
my boyfriend(now hes an ex) cheated on with my with TWO of my bestfriends..i found out after me and my boyfriend has been broken up for about a month, he admitted it all..i havent talked to my "best"friends for about 2 months besides asking them ?'s and so on. me and my ex bf do not talk at all, if someone betrays you like that they do NOT cae for you as much as u think they do/did, its just unacceptable i cant even imagine doing that to somebodym better yet my "BEST" friend..its absolutely bullshit and u do NOT need people like that in ur life, this all happened to me about 2 months ago i found all this out i am still suffering but getting through it b/c i DEADED all 3 of them, fake people can kiss my ass and get OUT of my life, i dont need you
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): ok i dont think you should be with him any more he might of been a good boyfriend but he cheated on you with your sister. my boyfriend cheated on me last year with his best friends sister but i took him back, but now i really wish i didnt. At the start of this year I got a call from my other best friend telling me to log on to facebook on my boyfriends acount and go and look at his inbox then i saw heaps of messages from her saying that she had a really great time last sunday and that she could not wait to do it again on friday then i went to his outbox and saw a message that he sent saying sex was great you are the best at it and make sure you dont tell my girlfriend this. so i cried all night long and i was waiting for him to come home so i could ask him. when he did get home i sat on the the chair and said i looked on facebook last night and saw messages from you to *girls name* and he looked at me and said what are you talking about and i said you have been cheating on me havint you and i made him tell me the truth when he did i broke up with him and kicked him out. ever since i did that my life has been so much better and i found someone new who reaaly cares about me. i think you should do the same and move on and find someone else who loves you no matter what.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): My boyfriend tried to cheat on me with my best friend in front of his best friend. She flipped out at him, and told me immediately. Everyone who knew us was surprised, they never thought the boy who had a crush on me for two and a half years would do that when he finally got the chance with me. Neither could I, this boy has been my best friend, and I've told him everything (and I mean everything) so needless to say I was heartbroken, really heartbroken for the first time, but I knew I could no longer trust him, especially after he kept avoiding my questions, and then flat out denied any of it happened, when there were two witnesses. I dumped him, but I still keep in touch with him, and of course with my best friend, and now his friends have become my new friends :) I still care for him, he was my best friend for years, and I know he still claims he loves me, but I'm sorry, for someone to break that trust, is someone who doesn't deserve you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): i think that if this person truly is your best friend you should forgive her-but if she does it again you shouldn't.
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reader, Vanessa Kirk +, writes (20 February 2010):
My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, also. I was so in love with my boyfriend at that point (when he told me, 2 months after he cheated), I forgave him but didn't forget. I'll never forget. If he does it again, I WILL break up with him. But I chose to give him a second chance because I'm a positive thinker and I believe this man can and will change to be with me. The friend I totally forgot about. Friends come and go. She may have been like a sister, but a sneeky bitch sister. So fuck her. But I'm in love with Sean so I'm giving him a second chance. It all depends on the situation. In my case, they only made out. If thay had had sex, I would have to take a break from him for awhile, but not break up with him.
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reader, foolishgirlinfinity +, writes (17 December 2009):
Hello!
Tonight I found out my best friend and my boy friend cheated on me so I just left them alone i mean cheaters belong with eachother and I deserve better. No need to forgive anyone or forget anything. I will live happily maybe find someone who wont cheat! screw them! We deserve better
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): My best friend of 6 years did this too me and ive still not gotten over it. it happend around 2 yrs ago now.. i was goin out with this guy who is older than me .. an i didnt sleep with him cuz im very shy and dont like to "sleep around" so my best friend was sleepin with him an meetin up with him behind my back for around three or four months. i was humiliated when i found out. i gave up on him even tho im still in love with him. he obviously doesnt love me.. as for my friend.. we fought for around 4 months.. were friends now but i tend to avoid her and i definatly dont trust her or tell her anything personal.. they both broke my heart! its hard 2 come back from something like this.........
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): bloody hell dump him ..he doesnt deserve u..........
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): hey i know exactly how you feel. my best friend had a boy friend and i was dating her ex so i found out from my other friends that they were kissing and stuff and had ben secretly going out for weeks! i was crushed. we broke up the day after. its hard believe me but you will eventually get over him i promise.
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reader, notdefeated +, writes (23 November 2009):
hi, I went through a similar situation about 2 years ago; My best friend who I had grown up with had sex with my boyfriend at a party. She never told me anything, I had to hear it from him. At first I shook my world I couldn't sleep or eat but as time went by I forgave, it was the best decision I ever made. I let her know that I forgave her; however I no longer hang out with her because someone that selfish doesn't deserve my company and as for the guy I've forgiven him too. It was the best thing I could do, I am happy because I learned the truth and I can read people better now!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): the exact same thing happened to me.
i was furious with my boyfriend (now ex) and bestfriend.
she was as you said "like a sister to me" but no one who cares for you, betrays you like that.
they both knew what they were doing and they brought this upon themselves. i think they do not deserve your trust. but it is totally up to you.
if you do forgive them, remeber fogive but dont forget what they did to you.
xxxxxx(:
ps..
you deserve a better boyfriend and bestfriend babe.
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female
reader, musixonle +, writes (6 July 2009):
Same thing happened to me. Ma best friend and my boyfriend hooked up behind my back. I stopped talking to my homegurl cuz true friends dont do that. Also I blew off my bf as well. U cant expect much from guys but still, he should know better than to do that, especially if you have been trying to stay faithful with him too. I think that if you really think you can trust your friend and you think she wont do you wrong again then talk to her but if not, then dont. She isnt that good of a friend anyways if she got into it with ur boi.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): I will be hated for going on this thread, but im the opposite. I'm the friend who the boyfriend cheated on. They have been going out for a couple of months and it slowly escalated with me and him. He cheated with me twice and we vowed to say it never happened. I told him i could never love him as much as she loved him, and that he deserves her more than he deserves me. And thats how it ended. I wanted to completly ignore that it happened and forget he ever cheated with me. We gradually grew to be better friends, me and his girlfriend, (we were already friend's enough to begin with). But recently, he finally told her the truth. And everyone knows. She is not in town right now but i text her and she won't reply. But i want her forgiveness so badly. I want her to know it was a mistake and that i lied to her, and im aware she won't trust me again, but that i want her friendship and even though i can't ever fix what happened, i can 'try and put tape on it' as someone eloquantly said.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): Omg the same exact thing happend 2 me on friday..i dont know what 2 do eather but me & mi bf talked it out & we almost broke ^ but didnt & ur rite it iz hard 2 b mad @ youre best friend & im nt mad @ hr anymor but i just dnt rly trust hr every1 iz telling me 2 dump him & mi best friend but i cnt do it i love hr az mi best friend but im in love with him soooo much & itz hard 2 let go! I hope eve thing works out for youh good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): hell no!! how can you even conversate with this person anymore. it's been done to you behind your back four times. what is she going to say sorry cuz the fourth time made her realize that she was doing wrong. she made you suffer,i suggest you put her on probation and ignore her for a little bit since you still want to be her freind. but please do us all a favor and look up the word freind. you may be close but some time people you are real close to are your biggest enemies. they just use you for their benefit. i know that your so called freind is not calling you or crying for forgiveness because she's not afraid of losing you. if she really cared she would suffer beacuse she lost someone that was a real freind!!!please take my advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Same thing happened to me about 2 weeks ago. They were playing an innocent game and both of them claimed that things escalated and got caught up in the moment. After they realized what they did they decided not to tell me until my friend forced my boyfriend to call me up and tell me. My boyfriend claimed he liked her but "loved" me. I tried to work it out with the both of them but i couldn't live with it so i broke up with him. I hardly talk to my best friend anymore and it kills me because i loved them both so much. Even after the break up they still fool around and flirt in front of me. It makes me angry but at least I don't have to deal with it. Everyone around me has been really supportive of my decision and Im sure your other friends will help you through this. My Bf and BFF broke my trust and I don't think i can ever trust them again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Okay i know exactly what you mean just a couple days ago i found out my bf and one of my supposable best friends where going out. i was with him for about a year nd a half. i just ended it on monday. its hard ive broken down so many times. the first time they talked was over the phone i didnt think anything because well shes supposedly my best friend nd i was right next to her. later that night she was on the phone with "her friend brandon" she kept asking me questions about my bf but i still didnt think anything... because well you know shes my best friend. after 2weeks of them going out he told me... and after they both just acted like it was all okay. and then she asked for my freakin permission to be with him WTF! i was so pissed... now im just upset... i mean i know it just shows me there true colors but i realli didnt expect that....especially because i thought he was "the one" and now i just feel like a complete idiot :'(
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Ok hun..I actually know what your going through...Just 2 days ago i found out my bf cheated on me with my supposed to be best friend.. They had a past together but she said she was over him but she must not be but i love him with all my heart...and I cant just let him go..See my best Friend was the type of person if you got something she wants then she is gonna try to get it...And well i ant about to fight over a guy so i made him chose between me or her...And shockingly he chose me now we are back together he knows that I don't trust him bearly but we are doing good....but you need to sit him down and talk to him and for your friend tell her everything you think about her and what she did...I know i did now i feel so much better i know this may not realy answer your question but just follow your heart...and if it tells you to forgive then do it it ant gonna be easy but just try it....sincerly broken and confused
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Hey hen!!.
i know exactly what you must be going through, around 8 months ago, i started goin with a guy id liked for ages, i spent most nights with him, and some nights my best friend would come along. It was great, having a best friend i could tell everything too, and a boyfriend who told me ten times a day that he loved me. But then i joined a training course, and during the days when i was away my best friend would text me saying that she was with my boyfriend "hanging out", i didnt take much notice as they were good friends. But then the two off them stopped wanting to hang with me, my mum, my auntie and close friends told me there was something goin on but i didnt listen, until one day i was walking innocently round to my best friends to have a catch up with her, and seen them in her garden kissing each other, and thats when i found out that they had been seein each other for a while behind my back. Then i ended with him and ended the friendship with her, and for about 6 months now i havnt talked to her, me and him have currently made friends as him and her broke up, but he has started flirtin with me again, i no its pointless as i wont ever take him back. But there is days where i miss them both, but hen you just have to be strong. If she cared about you enough like she says she does, and said she was your best friend she wouldnt have went off with your boyfriend. Get rid off them both, cause any boyfriends you have in the future she will obviously try and steal. She is a worthless mate, and yes you may have had your good times, but at the end off the day she didnt consider your feelings or friendship when she was getting off with your boyfriend. And he wasnt much off a boy if he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with her best friend. It takes two to tango, and the two off them were both in the wrong!. xxx
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reader, sali  +, writes (16 December 2008):
heyy..
well ive passed through the same situation.. i felt destroyed..
what happend exactly is that the 3 of us where in a cafe.. and they started flirting and making out infront of me.. and i felt shocked.. so i had no reaction i just left...
the next day i met my best friend at the uni and she denyed itt at all.. she told the story to everyone arround and made me look crazy and said that i made the story..
everyone stopped talking to me.. then she and my** bf started going out with ppl who were supposively my friends and kept on denying .. she spread out my secretttss infront of hiim and others:S:S it was aufull.. then she started spreading roumers and bad stuff about me and my family.. she kept on that.. causing me pain for 8 months.. and today after 8 months.. i decided to keep ignoring her.. and about him.. iam seeing him from while a while by chancce in cofeshops etc.. but we dont even say hello... in my heart.. i forgive themm maybe i forgive him more.. but her!! because she kept on hearting me its hard to forgive her but i dont hate her .. u know what i actualy cant iamgine myself talking to her again..:S she showed soo selfish so evil so baddd...
but its okk time will make u feel better but youll never forget the pain.. ull miss them sometimes.. or maybe all the time..
the reason is that you loved them more than they deserved.. so try being strong:D and am sorry for what happend with u cz it is.. painfull...
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reader, sali +, writes (16 December 2008):
heyy..
well ive passed through the same situation.. i felt destroyed..
what happend exactly is that the 3 of us where in a cafe.. and they started flirting and making out infront of me.. and i felt shocked.. so i had no reaction i just left...
the next day i met my best friend at the uni and she denyed itt at all.. she told the story to everyone arround and made me look crazy and said that i made the story..
everyone stopped talking to me.. then she and my** bf started going out with ppl who were supposively my friends and kept on denying .. she spread out my secretttss infront of hiim and others:S:S it was aufull.. then she started spreading roumers and bad stuff about me and my family.. she kept on that.. causing me pain for 8 months.. and today after 8 months.. i decided to keep ignoring her.. and about him.. iam seeing him from while a while by chancce in cofeshops etc.. but we dont even say hello... in my heart.. i forgive themm maybe i forgive him more.. but her!! because she kept on hearting me its hard to forgiv
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reader, stina901  +, writes (7 November 2008):
i know exactly how you feeli just found out that my boyfriend and my best friend were together while i was with him and my best friend told all my friends about it becuase she was happy that he chose her. She then had a full on bitch about me and how he never liked me and was only with me because he had to be and that she never liked me either. After the 1st time they did it and i found out she swore to me that she would never do anything like that becuase she was my best friend and she did it again.All i can say is...youre better off without the both of them, guys arent important so you shouldnt talk to him again anyway and as for your bestfriend.. its the hardest lesson you'll ever learn but friends dont do that. If you guys are closer than sisters then she certainly shouldnt have done it. Ive given up on my "best friend" and its really really hard and i cry about it all the time (becuase it happened recently) but eventually everything will get better, you'll make new friends and find new guys. And you'll get closer to your other friends too... becuase theyll support you.Speaking from experience... you should ditch them both. You dont need people like that in your life and shes not much of a friend for doing it.(This is such a long reply! haha)i hope it all works out for you :)Good luck xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): I have been through the same, but i did the wrong thing in falling out with my best friend and letting the guy get away with it. Then a couple of weeks later i ended thing with him because i couldnt forgive him. Then about a month later i made friends with her but things arnt the same, im back with the guy, but i still cant forget i love him though. Ask your self are they worth the pain? You cant forgive one and not the other its just not fair i did that and felt bad after. So make sure you do the right thing. Good luck
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reader, blondie2007 +, writes (27 April 2008):
 I have been through the same, but i did the wrong thing in falling out with my best friend and letting the guy get away with it. Then a couple of weeks later i ended thing with him because i couldnt forgive him. Then about a month later i made friends with her but things arnt the same, im back with the guy, but i still cant forget i love him though. Ask your self are they worth the pain? You cant forgive one and not the other its just not fair i did that and felt bad after. So make sure you do the right thing. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): If she had done it once maybe you could forgive her but to let her do it 4 times now could you trust someone after 4 times? I mean it's hard to trust someone after one time but 4times is beyond a joke. I would say give her one more chance and if she messes up then tell her where the door is
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): my last boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, as much as i felt crushed i still tried to make it work with her as after all she was my best friend. it seemed to work for a few months infact we forgot about it and carried on as normal but we kept holding on thinking things would stay the same, all its done is in time destroy me. you need to walk away from her only then she'll pay the price. good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): i mean just talk it out with your best friend but i would watch her with all my boyfriends cuz that means that she cant be trusted no more i feel the same way to so dont feel bad you have me as well
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): My best friend just did the same and I will never EVER forgive her for it and I don't think you should either. Not only did they do it once, they did it 4 times. It was not a mistake. Neither of them stopped to think that you would be hurt. They did not consider your feelings so you shouldn't give them the time of day. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): hi i no how u feal my best friend dumped her boyfriend i asked him out and he said yes but then she started to confess tht she still loved him i sent him a text telling him and she said thanxs for telling him in a nice way she noticed how much she missed him she is proble just noticing tht she miss him so dont blam her but your bf he just an idiot for doing tht to u dump him for give your best friend and your bf will see wat he done and he has lost u for ever and see wat an IDIOT he was yours sinserly anonismus p.s soz about the spelling
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reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (4 July 2007):
 They are both lower than low babe!! If she was a true friend, and if you referred to her as a sister, well best friends or sisters dont act like that! Get rid of him!!And as for her... well, she seems to have no consideration for you... and no respect either. 4 times?!?!? No way! Id say you need to look at her as well, shes not completely blameless here in the slightest! Shes as bad as him.Whatever you choose to do, its upto you.Hope it all works out okay for you. xxxx
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reader, baby_caridee  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 I say break up with him. You can see the right and right decision in my point of view easily.
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
 She cant think much of you to do it with your boyfriend not only once but 4 times. If you want to keep her as a friend then fine, but let her know first that she's hurt you and let you down. Then you must forgive and forget for the friendship to work.
As for your boyfriend you will be so much better off without him! Trust me! He obviously doesn't respect you or care for you very much to do what he has done. And what's to say he wont cheat again?! Save yourself the pain and stay away from him!
xxxxxxxx
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reader, DV1 +, writes (1 July 2007):
 1. If she was your friend, she wouldn't have done it.
2. She's willing to sacrifice your friendship and her relationship for her own needs, therefore showing how little people mean to her.
3. Your now ex never liked or respected you in the first place.
Wash your hands of them.
DV1
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female
reader, PhillyPeaches +, writes (30 June 2007):
you need to kick them both to the curb. bottom line. with friends like those, who needs enemies?
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female
reader, bovvalicious +, writes (30 June 2007):
 She is obviously not your best friend and didn't value the friendship if she would do something like that, and your boyfriend obviously don't care about you that much if he cheated on you. if you dont trust them anymore then you aren't ready to forgive them, friendships and relationships are based on trust and without that they will fail so the question you should ask yourself isn't whether you should forgive them is whether you ready to forgive them if you are then you will be able to trust themhope i helped
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): Time for a new best friend, and kick the boy friend to the curb, you don't need people like this in your life....look for people who have integrity are honest and loyal and kind and who would not purposely do something to hurt you in anyway....These two did not fall on top of each other by acccident this was premeditated and carried out not even well enough to conceal the truth to you....This is not my definition of a friend, is it yours?
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female
reader, *shugar* *and* *spice* +, writes (30 June 2007):
 hey, well my boyfriend cheated on me to and he used to go out with my bestfriend but thats not who he cheated on me with. well i dident breake up with my boyfriend "he stoped cheating on me". but your boyfriend cheated on you 4 times so you can't trust him no more. well i see your close to your bestfriend so am i "she was ok with me going out with her EX because they broke up" but your bestfriend went out with your boyfriend while you and him wher dateing i don't think shes as close to you as you are her. but what ever you decide it's your decision.
good luck!!!!
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reader, nologo  +, writes (30 June 2007):
 Okay, what is highlighted in this story.
The answer: "shes closer then a sister".
We got 2 ways to treat "bf cheated on me with my bestfriend":
#1 - if this is about cheating, then there is lack of trust.
#2 - if this is about "sister", then there is lack of care.
Anyway, I would rather advise you to think WHY you lack it.
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (30 June 2007):
 I understand that you are very close to your best friend, but she did not betray you once it was a couple of times, i would not even dream about doing anything like that to my best friend, you just don't go there.
So if you forgive her are you ever going to be able to trust her again around new boyfriends because i certainly would not she has already proved she has no loyalty to you what so ever.
Obviously it's your decision but i would think very long and hard about this, your young so you will find new friends and a new boyfriend people like this do not deserve to have you as a friend.
Take care.xx.
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