A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so here is my dilemma...I have been dating my boyfriend now for about 3 1/2 years. He cheated on me once when we first started dating with a girl he has always had a crush on but never got the chance to see if it would work with her. All he did was kiss her and said it just didn't feel right with her. He told me about it after it happened and I forgave him. He hasn't cheated on me since then, but recently he slept with another girl. I had been his first and only girl he had been with and he has told me that it bothers him not to know what it's like with another person since I have had partners before him. He told me about it and said that it was horrible and he didn't like it and it didn't mean the same. He says that he is over that idea of wanting to know what it's like with someone else and will never do it again. Should I forgive him and give him another chance? Or should I let me go and move on? However, I can see myself with him for a long time and we have talked about getting married in the future. I don't want to lose him but is what he did too horrible to forgive. I'm confused because I feel that if I forgive him I am saying that what he did was okay.... which it wasn't. Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): I agree with princesssarah because I would say dump him too.He sounds like a definite cheater.However the other part of me is saying that you btoh need to sit down and talk to each other and get him to understand that this is wrong and I suggest u take a break for at least 2 weeks where u r both single. If he does something in those 2 weeks, he obviously does not love you enough and dump him and if he doesnt do anything then I suggest maybe giving it another go, but you may feel differently after those 2 weeks of being single again.your choice in the endxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Please let this guy go. Look, I was a virgin myself before I lost it to my now husband. I haven't cheated on him with anyone to see "what it feels like with someone else." What he said to you was a cop out.
Being faithful is more important than curiosity. Obviously he has a lot of growing up to do. I don't make love with someone to "see what it feels like." If I make love with someone, it is because I love them.
You know I have a crush on one of my professors still, but you don't see me calling him, kissing him, or having sex with him! I fight daily with myself so that I won't call him and hang up. So that I won't call him period. Why? Because I am in a loving, faithful, marriage, and why do that?
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (23 April 2009):
 THE ANSWER IS CLEAR!!
Dear Lord,
Just think of it....5 or 6 years down the road when you have a little child with one on the way and this were to happen to you...THINK OF THAT!
Cheaters will always be cheaters. yes you want to forgive him...he has said all the right things....You want to believe it "Its going to be for keeps this time"
Sweety, it never is...cheaters care only for themselves. His excuse is effen lame. He is simply trying to justify it, and by saying that he wanted to experience someone other than you...he is laying his blame on you by proxy.
No one put a gun to his head and said...
"BOINK ANOTHER WOMAN"
He did that all on his own,and without a care as to how you felt or the consequences.
being that cheaters are also liars, I am sure that you only have a part of what really happened. If I were you I would do two things...
1) Get tested immediately for possible STDs. Sounds crass and harsh, but you werent with him when he did the deed, so he could well have had unprotected sex. Love is not forever but Herpes is. Get tested right away.
2) Upon that being done, run away from this immature turd and never look back
If you are considering marrying him, dont you agree that such a big leap would require that he pass his audition for being marriage material? Well I say he should be given the HOOK! HE FAILS
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A
female
reader, crimson_kiss +, writes (22 April 2009):
 I have to agree with my friends here. If he wants to go and sow some of his oats, then he should NOT being doing it while still in a relationship with you. Explain to him that you understand if he wants to see if the grass is greener on the other side, but also tell him...WHAT'S good for the goose, baby!Cheaters, unfortunately, will be cheaters. Along with the cheating comes some very hard lessons for the other person involved. I am not sure if you will be able to trust him again after this.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (22 April 2009):
 Look, if he needs to go out and sow some wild oats, then that's understandable, but he shouldn't be doing it while in a supposedly committed relationship with you.
Break things off, let him go be a young guy, and in the mean time you take care of yourself. But nothing says you have to be with him, no matter what your dreams were.
Also, be wary of what he's dishing out to you. I'm hearing some classic cheater lines. I say let him and yourself go. Maybe when he gets a taste of waht's really out there, he will man-up and realize that you're the best thing that's ever happened to him.
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A
female
reader, PrincessSarah  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 chuck him. im sorry but what he did was disgusting. hes had his fun and youve taken him back. this is wrong, he needs to know that its not okay. if he loved you, he would even think about sleeping with this other woman. it seems to me that he only loves you when it suits him. im sorry to be harsh hun but this guys a loser. i understand its difficult to let go of someone you've been with for so long but i think you should be very brave and bit the bullet and get rid of his sorry ass!
you are a strong, independant, woman and you need to be with someone who adores you. it will be hard at first but i think that youll respect yourself so much more in future for dumping this cheat before he does it again
also, next time he sees you looking fabulous, he'll regret what he did!
you go girl!
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