A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex broke up about 5 months ago. A month after we broke up he went out with one of our mutual friends and of course that bothered me but I just kept telling myself if they are happy then I'm happy. A month into that relationship they broke up because he liked another girl. I didn't realise until he asked me out that I was the other girl. I said we had to start speaking as friends before we went back out as he did just break up with my friend. We spoke on and off ft another month. He would sometimes be a dick and sometimes it would be like old times. Then 3 weeks ago he got another girlfriend. We were still speaking and literally 2 days before he was hugging me and he was all over me. I got me so confused. He mailed me friend and asked how I was getting on which was very confusing too. He also flirts a bit when we are out with friends. He's sending me mixed messages and I just don't know what too do. Should I just see how things go or remove meself from the sistuation? I mean he was my first love and it's all very confusing
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broke up, flirt, mixed messages, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2016): Avoid him. He's clearly playing all of you.
A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (13 October 2016):
It sounds to me like he's a little bit of an emotional player. He has multiple possibilities of women at the same time to which one his best for his needs at the time. Some young men feel it's nice to have the attention of multiple girls, as it makes them look and feel like they are desired. Because he was your first love, it's hard to let go. But he likes the attention he gets from you so he emotionally plays you a bit. It's very normal for some young men to do this, if you don't put your foot down.
My suggestion is to remove yourself from him for a long while, as he will continue to do this if he feels he can control your feelings. He knows this because he was your first. There are no consequences to his flirting, so he will continue to do it. Also you become a physical possibility later, which is usually a big reason for doing it. By moving on, it might wake him up a bit, and be good for him. I know it might be hard, but you at least need to push away as he has a new girlfriend. Don't be shocked if he tries to reel you back in though. I would simply tell him you need some time off.
Afterwards, make sure you keep it strictly as friends, and won't accept his flirting. He will respect you for it if you do, and you can continue a nice normal relationship later on.
Hope this helps.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (12 October 2016):
 Sounds very childish. He had 3 different girlfriends in the space of about 3-4 months?
Sounds like he gets a kick out of messing people about, I wouldn't waste my time if I were you. Some people can never just be upfront and they string you along for such a long time it gets to a point where you wonder where time actually has gone because how much you've been messed around.
In a nutshell, he sounds immature and like a time waster.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 October 2016):
 He is your first love so off course it is hard, but you do need to remove yourself from the situation. I am sure you both still have feelings for each other, but sometimes that is just not enough to have a relationship. The best thing you can do is move on and if he tries to flirt ask him to stop.
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