A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of six months just broke up with me. I'm heartbroken. This stupid part of me still loves him, and I'm actually so much more worried about his broken heart than mine (He still loves me too).What should I do to ease the pain for both of us? My initial reaction was to cut off all communication, but we've spoken every single day for the last half a year, and before the relationship we were best friends. I don't know what to do.I don't want to hurt him. I know I should be putting myself first now, but I can't help it. Is my cutting off communication the best thing I could do?Please, I don't need advice on how to get over him... I know all the stuff about don't call him, or just preoccupying my time with stuff to take my mind off him, I just want to know what I should do to make sure I don't hurt him.Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): I see where everyone’s coming from with those who gave you advice,
However I know how you feel as well it sounds like at the moment though you just cant get off the track of the same old familiar pattern of needing each other I know its not easy to break ties with him,
So I’m going to suggest letting it happen naturally I mean it sounds like you have a nice friendship for now and hopefully it wont hurt either of you as long as you both don’t talk of the past,
I think one day though you will see him with a new pair of eyes and it may hurt that for whatever reason when it becomes clear something has changed,
I promise that you will start to fall out of love naturally although you will always love him as a friend,
It sounds like for whatever reason its just not right, If it was you would be together.
But you’re only young Hun and I promise one day you may go into another relationship and hopefully that will be right, and you’ll take the positive aspects from this one as well this is how we learn and grow,
Take care of yourself try day by day needing others aproval less and less,
A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (2 July 2007):
I dont understand how you would hurt him. Hes broken up with you and does not want to be with you anymore. I agree with eyeswideopen, if he loved you so much he would not have broken up with you. I dont personally think there is any chance that you are going to hurt him. He will get over his own pain in his own way. I would suggest you go along with the original plan to stop all communication between you both. That way you can both move on and find someone new. Im sure he is not as worried about it all as you are, just find someone new.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 If he still loves you and you love him, then what was his reason for breaking up with you? Is he afraid? Or did maybe you do something that hurt him? It sounds like if you both love each other you can work it out. But you both have to learn a lesson from this if you do. If you dont learn, you will continue to hurt each other.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Hi,
Sorry i agree with Dr Pete, it really does sound like you are in denial.
If this guy really loved you why would he finnish it, it makes no sence. Unless there is another reason that you have not mentioned, I cannot understand why you are so worried about him.
Its ok to hold on to feelings for a lover you may have lost. But to put that person before yourself, and your own welfare, is silly.
I dont want to be cruel, but worry about you for a while, and let him get on with his decision. If he comes to regret it in the future, thats his problem.
But hopefully you will be happy XX
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (2 July 2007):
 If he is in love with you and hurting that much, then the best thing you could do for him, is leave well alone don't have any contact and just let him move on with his life.
That will infact save you both the heartache.
Take care.xx.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): There is no right or wrong way to go about this, you just have to go with what you feel is right.
It is nice you are looking out for him, but you need to remember that he is the one who broke up with you so bare that in mind because your priority should be with yourself right now, not deciding what to do based on what is best for him.
To be honest you sound like someone who is in denial, I don't think it has really sunk in that he doesn't want to be with you any longer. That is the only reason why you are still prepared to put his feelings before your own.
Pay more attention to your own feelings because he will inadvertently ending up hurting you a lot more if you go about this breakup without looking out for yourself.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (2 July 2007):
Definitely cut off communication. He may miss you as a friend, but if he broke up with you, he isn’t heart broken. If he says he is, it’s because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, or he’s too embarrassed to admit he doesn’t care any more. You already mentioned the answers yourself – do the stuff you need to do to forget him. His feelings are no longer your concern. The longer you drag this out, the more painful it will be.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Why on earth did he break up with you if he still loves you so much?
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