A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, you know when your partner is going through grief of losing a close family member what sort of things can you do to help? By this I mean are there any sorts of activites we could do together to try and take her mind off it? How can I show her that I'm here for her more, what could I do to help her relax at home when she gets upset? I don't know why but when she does get upset I feel very uneasy around her and am scared to do anything because really there's not a lot I can do. Please help I hate seeing her like this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I have just been through the same thing and there is nothing you can say or do, activities and things to take their mind off it will come in time when they are ready, just lots of support and a shoulder to cry on is the best way to help them through this difficult time.
Sounds like you are doing that anyway, and that will have been noted.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (2 July 2007):
You are feeling uneasy because you feel you should be able to fix this problem, like you fix other problems for her. You can’t of course, so don’t feel guilty about it. My mum died unexpectedly a few years ago. All I needed from my husband was his arms around me when I cried, and someone to listen when I wanted to remember her. You can’t do any more than that, there is no magic way to make it better, because it’s just a matter of time. Just being sad when she feels sad is the way through it. Be assured that it will get easier for her as time passes. She will be sad less and less often, and eventually come to have only happy memories.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Other than being there when she needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on, there is nothing you can do. She will need to go through it herself, but it will be easier on her knowing you are there for her. You sound like a very kind person, she is lucky to have you. Time will help and there will be good days and bad days. Everyone goes through it in their lifetime. Chin up Buddy.
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