A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i been datin this guy for 8 months,he broke up with me last sunday and i begged him and cried sayin i didnt want anyone else.i now know this was a mistake as i have been reading that begging pushes them away but anyways he talks 2 me some at school. i started dating this other guy and my ex called me on wednesday tellin me i shouldnt date him and he dont want me 2 bc he isnt good 4 me and when he called i was talkin 2 a guy friend and he told me 2 hang up with him and talk 2 him so i did and he was playin songs that he had played 2 me be4 but anyways i broke up with this guy i had started dating i didnt wanna be with him. he talks 2 me a lil and jokes and stuff. last nite i called him and told him i wanted 2 talk 2 him be4 i went out with friends and he said yea there will be boys there,i called him at 9:30 and i was leaving at 10:30 and he told me 2 not go out and just stay and talk 2 him so i did and i told him i love him and want him and if he didnt want me 2 just tell me and i would just move on and he said he loves me and wants 2 b with me but he dont think it will work.at 10:30 he was ready 2 hang up. he knew i wasnt goin out now so he wanted 2 go and yet again i cried begging 2 him, i regret doin that now. ive heard that if i act like im ok and dont beg 2 him it will work but how do i go about doin that now after i have begged 2 him? he is confusing me so much,idk what he wants,y does it seem like he is tryin 2 keep me away from guys and y is he doin this,does he want me and what is the best way 2 handle this,i do want him back,idk y he broke up with me..plz help me bc im so confused and dont know what 2 do...thx
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broke up, ex called, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Isa123 +, writes (26 April 2010):
 If you want him back after chasing him, don't contact him. As much as you want to, do something to take your mind out of it and keep your adrenaline pumping. Do exercise. Listen to music loudly. Whatever keeps your mind out of it and from contacting him again.
And stop answering his calls! He's not in your life anymore. Do not let yourself be treated this way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthx 2 all of u 4 ur advice...i agree with the one who said make him chase me but how do i do that now after i have cried and begged 2 him,how can i make him believe i am done and im moving on when he thinks im still prob gonna be waiting on him after cring and begging him....i do want help in getting him back...i have talked 2 other guys and it helps ease the pain for the moment but i do want him back so any advice on how 2 get him back plz and do u think he does still want me?
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Isa said yur ex is acting like a 'spoilt child'...I am guessing he is the same age as you and therefore he is a 'child', albeit one trying to be a grown-up and doing grown-up stuff like dating. Anyway, enough of him...your post tells me far more about you than it does about him and his behaviour. As I write time and time again, the opposite sex (and people in general) will treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. It is ok to make mistakes in dating at your age but try to learn from them or else you will end up in a string of miserable relationships in your adult life. To be successful at dating and happy in a relationship you need to be quite a strong person and have the self esteem to walk away from rubbish treatment. If you don't love you, how will anyone else? I suggest that you stop dating boys for a while and concentrate on yourself. The reason is that you seem to be trying to make yourself happy through other people - dating one boy, then onto the next. It maybe wrong for your ex to dictate what you do, but what is more wrong is that you let him and inflate his ego by 'begging' him for a second chance. This starts a dangerous pattern of behaviour for you as a girl. When you beg boys/men for attention, there are some who won't respect you and may go on to abuse you in all sorts of ways. This is why having the self esteem to walk away from someone who treats you badly is very very important - even when you think you love that person. I suggest that you cut all communication with that ex of yours and ask him not to speak with you in school. Go out with your girl-friends, have fun times and don't take life too seriously - there is plenty of time for going steady and being committed later in life. At the moment you should think about personality development, growing up slowly and school performance - it may sound boring but these are vital components of a happy adult life later on.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 April 2010):
Tell your ex boyfriend to shove it. You're too good for him, and he's playing games which is very unfair. If you want to date someone, date them. You don't need a guy who has hurt you in your life. You do what you want to do.
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A
female
reader, Isa123 +, writes (25 April 2010):
Okay, your ex boyfriend is like a spoiled child. He may have found new toys, but he doesn't want people playing with his old ones.
You love him. And that brings you to do whatever it takes to make him happy. But now he finds you easy and just leaves you as someone he can always call.
My advice is, you don't deserve him. He is no longer in your life so hang out with other people. If you want him back, make him chase YOU. Don't listen to him. Live your life with your guy friends and date other people if you wish. Don't do this to yourself.
Good luck sweetie.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (25 April 2010):
 He is playing games with you. He's pulling that trick of "I don't want you but no one else can have you either." to satisfy his ego and feel good that he's got a girl begging for him. He likes that he can just say the word and you will stay home for him while he goes out and does what he wants to do. Stupid, isn't it?
Since you know now that he's just messing around with your heart for fun, don't give him the satisfaction. Don't answer his calls. If he tries to get you to stay home again, tell him you have plans and you're going to keep them. Enjoy your life and don't wait around on some guy who dumped you. Life is too short and there are too many other guys out there who DO want you.
Good luck.
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