| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am only 14 and my boyfriend has asked me to marry him! I realy love him but how many people stay with someone that they started dating when they were 10? What should I say? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YoungLoveAdvice  +, writes (22 April 2013):
 Hello,
My boyfriend recently asked me to marry me too !
I am 15 I said to him in 10 years if where still togeather I would love to marry you 3
your way to young to get married at this age just keep your relationship strong until your old enough to get married :D
good luck !!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Hey, Sweetie how old did you say you were fourteen!?!? Honey I'm sorry but that is waaaaayyy too young and if you're considering marriage based on just you and your boyfriend loving each other, than you're not ready for marriage. I would never say that I don't believe in young puppy love becoming real love, and that's exactly what you and your boyfriend has, puppy love! I don't think you know exactly what REAL love really is yet and the circumstances that comes along with it. Think about it, you haven't even begun to file taxes yet you're not even close to age or may not even know what it is yet but you would have to add his name to it and a bunch of other things to determine what "You" qualify for. I bet you didn't even know that! Trust me I'm 24 years old I've been with my now fiance for five years and I love him like I love my next breath and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him I also know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But even we aren't rushing because aside from it being a super big commitment which kind of already have, there are things that are needed to be sort out and situated first before that step really occurs. Not to mention, we are both in debt minor debt but still. Did you also know that if you two were to get married that if either him or you happened to end up owing money that it allects the both of you not just you and not just him no matter whose problem it is you both are going to suffer from it. I bet you didn't know that either ;-) See so marriage isn't just about love it's really about dealing with certain circumstance no matter how things evolve neither one of you can handle things alone. You two after marriage because one; sort of like you living inside him his body and him living inside you. You will no longer have an discription or a reflection of yourself and you you really are and neither will he. Both of you will be an item of one being and you will never be able to do anything without it pertaining to him or getting his permission first and vice versa. What I did notice though is that nobody that answered your question really told you the real truth MARRIAGE ISN'T WHAT IT"S CRACKED UP TO BE. Please do not mistake for the cinderella story cause it's nothing like that "AT ALL" But if you honestly think that you are ready at the tender age of only fourteen to start a commitment like that then so be it but in the mean time, good luck!!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): i think its a great idea i'm about to be 16 and my boyfriend said the same thing to me and hes the best thing thats ever happen to me in life and the same for him. we'v never had a fight and been going out for about a year and few months now and the reason he wants to marry me is because we both understand each other because we both come from bad home lifes our parents always fight and hate each other ect.ect. me and him were never happy till we met each other and hes the first guy i really loved instead of liked. you should ask him why he wants to marry you and if its a good reason for you go for it. i'm getting married when i turn 17. he also treats me really well the best boyfriend i'v ever had. I guess the reason we get along so well is because we're Emo but i'm not saying all Emo couples last forever or the only ones that last forever i'm just saying we have a lot in commen also if hes the first person when first person that you cant live without you'd die if they died or you'd take a bullet for them anytime or they're the most important person in your life and you'll never see yourself with or love anyone else but that person then i say your ready. i had a boyfriend who asked me to marry him but i didnt love him then i met my current boyfriend and i love him more then anything in life hes the only guy i'v ever truly loved and still do to day . but if your boyfriend is the person that would love you even if you change or love you no matter what then i guess your ready. one last thing if you have to think for a long time about marring this guy then your not ready to marry him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): gurl i can relate my boyfriend over the summer of 2006 he was like hey jenna will you marry me and i liked him and all but i was only 12 so i still havent answered and i broke up with him because he kept asking me about how many kids do you think we will have i havent even found my right lover yet because i have many years to go so yeah and still today he keeps asking me back out asking if any of my friends are single he cheated on me with my best friend so thats another reason but what i think you should dod is say i think im to young right now but if were still together in the future maybe
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): The same thing happened to me when I was 14. I was excited and accepted his proposal. Not long after, I freqaked out. I told him I needed time and space (he was my first boyfriend). He reluctantly agreed to the one month period I asked for. When I went back to him after one month (and only having seen one other person for a mere 3 days) he refused me, called me a betrayer. But I felt betrayed too.
A friend told me to give him the summer to cool down. It didn't work.
His brother was one of the most popular guys in school, and he didn't take to kindly to what I'd done. So the two boys friends banded against me. They made my life hell. I would skip class (I was an A/B student) and run to the nurse crying because his other female friends would try to beat me up in the hallways. I lost all of the friends I had made after dating him. I became so depressed I began to cut myself.
Eventually I asked to transfer schools in the middle of my sophmore year. I did so much better!
I still talk to this boy's mother, but I never could tell her what her two sons did to me. I still wish I could settle things with him, but I'm too scared to.
I'm a senior now, and am rengaged to someone else. We try to work out all of our problems.
So I guess my advice to you is this: Wait.
Don't neccessarily wait another four years, but do wait.
Maybe see other people, learn to love and live. If he really loves you, he can wait until you're abosolutely ready. nd if you ask for a grace period, he won't make your life hell once you come back to him (or attempt to).
I don't want to see what happened to me, happen to someone else. But I do want to see young lovers remain in love and happily married.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): 14 iz way 2 yung!!u gt da resta ya life ahead ov ya..!!itz up 2 u, bt personaly i dont think u shud at 14!!atleast wait til ur 17/18 then u wil no if ur in love :) btw i think its gr8 u bin 2geva since u wer 10!! :) good luck babez!! :) xx lv louise age 15 ;) xx
...............................
A
male
reader, Mr Ian  +, writes (13 August 2006):
 well i know someone who sed they would get married at 15 and it didnt work out. The likeyhood is what you want at 14 isnt going to be what you want at 30, 40, etc etc. So my advice is just enjoy being young. take care
...............................
A
female
reader, Thachorie +, writes (13 August 2006):
 I got engaged at 15 and were still together, im 17 now. I think if its what you both really want then you'll wait till your both ready, dont rush into it coz everyones different just coz some people make doesnt mean you will.
...............................
A
female
reader, NattieB +, writes (13 August 2006):
Sweetie, you have the rest of your life to think about marriage. I've gone through something simliar (i was a bit older though. I was 17) so i understand. When you've loved someone for a long time and they ask you something like that you wanna say yes, but think about it. In reality if you get married now, when your 30 you'll be angry at yourslef cause you never dated other guys and now the guy who you thought you love, you hate his guts. And you hate his. So for his sake and yours date other guys get some time to grow and if you still love him say when you're about my age (23) then maybe you should think about that marraige stuff.
Also just to let you know: He bet just be joking. That's something that young sometimes joke about. If he said it like "Girl I wanna marry you" in a gigglie tone he was joking. If he said it with a straight look on his face down on one knee like "Will you marry me (put name here)?" He was not joking.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (13 August 2006):
 (Source: Monthly Vital Statistics Report, Vol. 43, No. 9, Supplement, March 22, 1995, National Center for Health Statistics, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)
**Age at marriage for people who eventually divorce**
For women under 20 years: 27.6%
For women 20-24 years: 36.6%
For women 25-29 16.4%
For women 30-34 8.5%
For women 35-39 5.1%
So, the stats seem to suggest that the rate for divorces falls sharply if you wait until you're 30 or older.
I agree with all the aunts who've responded so far. You can't possibly *imagine* how different a person you'll be in ten years' time. You won't be the girl you are now. You'll barely even know the girl you are now. Getting engaged right now, even with the intention of getting married when you're of age is a bad idea.
Wait. Don't rush.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2006): say that you would rather wait until your about 16 or 17 to see if you guys stick together after you both start to grow more, mature. Give it time, if he really loves you then he will trust your opinion and wait. good luck in life!
...............................
A
female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (13 August 2006):
 Test his love. If he really wants to be with you, he'll wait until you're more mature and can fully comprehend what life will be throwing at you (not saying you don't have a grasp, but even I don't know it and I'm 16 1/2...) but life gets harder in the next four years. And you aren't legally able to marry unless you're 15 and he's 18, has a job, a house, and your parents have signed for it to be allowed... at least here in Virginia, USA. You two have been dating for four years, wait a while before jumping like that. Hey! You'll have more of an idea how long lasting and happy your relationship will if you guys can make it through these next few tough years! There's nothing wrong with wanting to share your life with him, but don't swear to it yet. A lot can happen.
So, good luck in the future! And also, if you explain all this to him, and he seems to get upset... then you might find you would regret it if you had accepted.
...............................
A
male
reader, standfast +, writes (13 August 2006):
i don't believe that marriage pre-18 is legal. If he really does care for you then ask him just this "what is another four years if you love me?"
if he doesn't like the answer I'd consider him SOL cause really you cant get married at 14... and if it lasts another four years after you guys change a lot then wait about another 2 untill you have settled in to your new self...in my opinion wait.
...............................
A
female
reader, hugs2muchgal +, writes (13 August 2006):
 no.no.no.
my best friend and her boyfriend had gotten engaged at 15 because they really loved eachother in their minds.
they are broken up now.
they hate eachother.
both now hate the idea of marraige. (both are only 16 now mind you)
and it messed them up a bit.
trust me say no, but tell your boyfriend you will consider it if you two are still together by senior year in highschool and that you love him dearly.
dont get engaged too early, because if you break up it will be even worse for both of you!
good luck with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, unclerich +, writes (13 August 2006):
tell him that when the time is right u will.your very young and you haven't tasted the whole world yet.just enjoy urself dont worry bout marriage yet you have got plenty of ime for that k
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2006): umm...how about NO??!! that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard.
...............................
A
female
reader, kikibird75 +, writes (13 August 2006):
NO! Please understand that you change who u are every couple yrs. You have no idea.
...............................
A
female
reader, tyler's_cowgirl +, writes (13 August 2006):
 Your only 14, you have your whole like ahead of you.. you shouldn't be thinking about marriage for at least another 4 years. You may love him, and i have nothing agaist that i think it's wonderful... but marriage is something very serious, a big commitment... something you should only do when your 100% sure it's right. I don't even think it's legal (not sure tho)... In the end it's you who will make the desicion... just make sure you think long and hard about EVERYTHING!
Best of Luck, Tyler's_Cowgirl xox
...............................
|
