A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, my boyfriend and I have been having sex for a year and a half and have never used a condom and I am not on birth control. I feel like we are playing with fire and that it is only a matter of time before I get pregnant, but then again maybe I just can't have kids and that scares me. He pulls out every time but shouldn't there be precum? It may sound like I want a baby, but I really dont right now because I am about to go off to college. I guess I just need some guideance or information. If you could help me in any way I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
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condom, precum, want a baby Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 Hmm.
I do see your dilemma, but you're still being veeeeery silly by not using protection.
And really, what would be worse - your parents finding out you're having sex by finding your condoms, or you parents finding out you're having sex because you have to tell them you're pregnant?
In any case, parents aren't stupid. You've been with this guy at least a year and a half, and you spend a lot of time in each others rooms with the door closed - you're not re-arranging to sock drawer in there. Odds are, they're pretty clued up, or at least have their suspicions.
As to why you've been lucky this far, it could be a number of reasons. There are usually only about six(I think) days in a woman's cycle when she can get pregnant, so perhaps you've just been lucky enough to miss those days. But just because you haven't got pregnant yet doesn't mean you won't. If you are worried about infertility, perhaps make an appointment with your doctor and see what he thinks.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone so much for your answers. Just to clarify, I know all the forms of birth control there are but my mom won't let me go in the pill and we are always sneaking around when having sex and thats why we dont use condoms because we do it in our houses with parents there. I guess what I am asking is why have I been so lucky not to get pregnant after a year and a half of having sex. Because it makes me feel like I can't have kids.
thanks for all your help.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Pulling out is not protection. With pre-cum, it doesn't always work even if he DOES succeed in never orgasming inside you.
If you've been having sex for a year with zero protection of any kind, then you're trying to get pregnant. Both of you. It's time to face this simple fact, and start asking yourselves why you really want to get pregnant so badly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Heya, just to say that pullig out before cuming is an incredibly unreliable method of avoiding pregnancy- if you don't want to get pregnant then use a condom, but there are loads more contraceptive methods out there- you can et leaflets from the nhs.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): just tell your boyfriend.. "no glove, no love!!"
get some condoms, get on the pill.
be safe, have fun!
(: best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): if you feel like your playing with fire, then yes you most definately are! if your worried enough to use withdrawl and obv both said this, then why don't you just sort it out between you and can enjoy it more. Contraceptive pills and all other forms from your doctor are free and if you go to the family planning so are condoms. If your boyfriend is willing then get him to get some from a shop instead. I really would get something because whats the point in worrying about it all the time when you could be concentrating on other things! good luck x
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (17 September 2008):
So, you don't want to become pregnant, and yet, you AREN'T using condoms and/or birth control?
...WHY?
The pull-out method is risky business, because there /is/ the risk of pre-cum, and of course, the risk that he won't pull out.
Do the smart thing and get yourself some protection. Don't ever just assume you're unable to have kids, because otherwise you may be in for a nasty wee shock.
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 My ex husband and I used the withdrawal method for years and we werent infertile just extremely lucky. Eventually it caught us out and I got pregnant, even though I didnt particularly want children at that time at least I was married so it didnt matter but I was still only 23, married less than a year and it was a huge shock.
Stop playing with fire!! Why cant you use condoms or birth control pills? Go to see your doctor or family planning clinic, there are lots of alternatives that they can discuss with you and really you should use condoms to protect against diseases anyway x
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