A
male
age
30-35,
*urething08
writes:hey everyone. I am having serious relationship problems. I have been with my gf for ten months now and the paranoia that is with me is really taking a toll. She talks to a bunch of guy friends, and even if i know its innocent, i still can't handle it. that is the biggest problem we have.... the way i see it, you dont talk to or want to hang out with other guys. She thinks i am completely wrong and stupid and being a baby about it. I dont know wat to do, i cant handle her wantin to talk to guys. she says she used to be a tomboy and she gets along better with guys. but she is very attractive and i get very uncomfortable when she wants to do these types of things, it is a constant issue now... i need your help with what is really going on here.. in my head, in hers, and advice. thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, the.archer  +, writes (17 September 2008):
I had this problem with a ex of mine, yes i am a tomboy and i did grow up around guys.. i have lots of guy friends but that's all they are... friends!! If she wanted to be with one of them i'm sure she would be, but she's not, she's with You! I'm sorry to say this but you guys are in the early stages of a relationship and if you keep making it an issue you could lose her.She will think you don't trust her and she certainly won't like you telling her who she can and can't talk to, as long as these friends of hers know that it is you she's with, and if they don't cross the line and try anything on with her i would try not to worry. She'll love you even more for the fact that you do trust her, and i know it's hard seeing this, think about it the other way around.. if you had lots of girls you were friends with, would she make a big issue out of it? would you see it as such a problem?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Hey well look i had that same problem with my bf. yeah i was a tomboy mostly my friends r guys but one of my best friend that i hang out with the most his name is carlos. at frist when my bf and i start dating i toll him about him that carlos was best buddie that i knew him for like 9 years. yeah my bf didnt like the whole idea about me and carlos hanging out but what i told that for a relactionship to work theres has to be trust with out that you guys dont progress you have to remember that in every relactionship theres also has to be free time for your own self. but like i siad talk to her about that and understand that you guys have to trust each other well i hope i help u with this problem and i wish u good luck and learn to trust your parner ok bye god bless :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): your paranoia is bsically to the normal instinct of fear of losing her but keeping up this jealousy type of thing is going to make you lose her this i say because i learned the hard way you got to understand its ok for her to have guy friends aslong as she respects the relationship between you guys and the same goes for you its impossible to say if something might go wrong but if you pressure her about this you might be the fault for something to happend just relax when shes with other guys be with other girls so it can help you chill make her feel like she makes you feel maybe she will understand your paranoia and having a girldfriend or boy friend doesnt iomply you having to always want to be with them give her time and when your together she wont have eyes for anything but you this is the best i can i hope it helps
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