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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: [OP original title]I'm 20, my boyfriend is 23 so we are not kids and we've been together 4 months. But ever since we started dating I feel like I struggle to find things to talk to him about. I'm quite a quiet person but I do try ask him stuff or tell him about my day but he just says "is it?" or answers my question and doesn't ask me back. This makes me feel like he isn't interested in convo with me. But he always tells me how much he likes me so why doesn't he want to have a conversation with me. We joke around which is fine but our convos last no longer than 5mins. I haven't told him how I feel and think if I do, I'll just feel like he's forcing himself to talk to me. Is it me or is it him?Should I break up with him or try harder? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): 4 months and yee can't even have a long conversation with each other? I'm sorry but that just sounds like you're both just incompatible. It sounds like your relationship is based almost solely on physical attraction and intimacy.
Do talk to him and ask him how he feels about that. I have to say though, that I've never lasted long in a relationship with someone who I couldn't talk to. They just don't work. I mean ask anyone else, beyond the sex and intimacy about 80% of time spent in any serious relationship is talking, getting to know each other intimately. How are you supposed to get to know the person behind the appearance if yee can't talk?
It's not enough to just like each other or be attracted to each other in your situation, that would be fine for a casual fling or fwb but not in a relationship.
I feel this is not going to be resolved for you, I hate to say it but 4 months and you haven't been able to open up to him or get him to open up to you doesn't sound good. When you talk to him about it and he says he'll try be more talkative it will still feel forced for you, when the reality is if you were compatible talking is the easiest thing in the world whether you're both quiet or not.
Communication is really the basis of any relationship, it's how we find out our partner's needs and desires, it's how we know when somethings wrong and it's how we come up with solutions to problems we face in our relationships. What will happen if you encounter problems in the future, how will you resolve them if you can't talk?
As hard as it might be, I'd call it a day. It's really not that hard to talk to someone you're interested in because you want to know everything about them. If he's not bothered then I have to question his interest.
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female
reader, xAx  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 I think you should tell him poliety how you feel and see how that goes. Maybe you two should do interesting things together that would allow future converstation e.g. theme parks, going to the cinema etc.
If you feel you tried your hardest then it would be a good idea to find someone else.
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