A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:[OP original title]My GF told me she loved me about a month ago and I said the same. we also as of last week said we may want to move in together a bit in the future. BUT, she told her BF that she just realized she loved me but hasn't told me and said she wants to get her own place but with her cousin. Why does she down play our relationship to her BF .. MY guy friends know that I told her i loved her and that we are thinking about moving in some time in the future. Why is she not honest? Also, when we first started dating she lied to me that she was out one night with her cousin when in fact she was out with her "guy friend" telling him she was seeing someone. Should I worry.... let it slide... or keep a watchful eye. she's 24 and IM 28 both college educated. And besides that she seems truthful and in love... is she just immature.. please any help or insight will be appreciated.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 btw, tennisstar got it right, girls do get judged by their friends. I have close friends that I don't tell everything to, because I know they will start going off about it in a negative way and make me doubt my own feelings or wants, and try and push me to do other things. The huge instances are that I love easily, I heal my heart up after a heartache and move on. My friend appears unable to move on as quickly, and made comments such as "oh you didn't really love him then if you moved on so quickly" or "how can you love this new man, you said you loved your ex and see how that went", or "you are moving too fast" and yadda yadda. Point being, girl friends can sometimes have a habit out of being too critical of one another, or even jealous, and want to bring the other down. It sucks. Hence I often tell white lies to my friends, but keep it real with my boyfriend.
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (6 August 2010):
She told whom? A BF is typically short for "BoyFriend" aka YOU. Do you mean she told her friend? And what makes you so sure she was lying to you and being honest with her friend? My bet is on it being the other way around, she is honest with you, but to avoid having her friend comment too much she keeps the details about your relationship private. Girls talk. And gossip. I'd trust her judgement on that one.
But I need to ask, how do you know that that is what she told her friend? Because 3rd party information is hardly never reliable. Be careful who you listen to, and be careful to not let others imagination get the best of you. Ask your girlfriend directly. And trust what she has told you, NOT whatever rumour is getting spread around.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 August 2010):
 It sounds like she's not ready to take that step and move in..another thing of why she told her bestie that she loves u but hasnt said it yet is sometimes our friends judge us and say that "oh ur saying those words too soon are u sure?" putting a lil doubt in our head. Stupid bc were worried about what our friends think i know. Ur gf does seem still a lil immature to me, I would call her out on her 2 lil lies, but as nicely as possible. Honesty is the best policy in a relationship and u just want to know why she said those things, ask her if she's ready to make a big step or is it moving too fast. But get her on the same page with u! Im thinking she's about 2 pages behind.
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