A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm sorry if this goes on for a bit, I just don't really know where to start. I was seeing this guy for 9 months and we were forever splitting up and getting back together. We had a massive row and spilt up. He was forever telling me he wanted to get with my sister who means the world to me. She's a year younger than me. We lost our dad 3 years ago and she wasn't close to him, but I see her as the last thing I have left of him.I always told him he didn't stand a chance, that she loved me too much. A week after we split up, I found out she was at his house and that my mum knew about it. I didn't speak to my mum or sister for 4 months and never thought about contacting him again.Then, just before Christmas, he started talking to me again and on Christmas day we started seeing each other. He went out the other night and left his phone here. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I went through it and there were hunderds of texts to and from my sister from the the beginning of December up till now. Some were really sad for me to read like, "I can't wait to see you and I miss talking to you" and "I really do like you and I feel sorry for you having a sister like that" (meaning me). Then when I told my sister about me and him, she texted him saying, "thats why your not replying much." I was really off with both of them and my sister noticed it was because of him. She told me she had deleted his number, but everyday he gets home from work he's deleted his texts and something doesn't feel right with us. I promised myself I wouldn't fall for him again, but it's too late. I'm so scared of getting hurt again and I don't know what to. All day I'm thinking about it. Now tomorrow night he wants to spend the night on his own, and I'm wondering if they are meeting up. Oh, and my sister is 8 months pregnant by some other lad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the advice. I know im the one thats going to get hurt. Im not very close to my mum i was closer to my dad he died 3 years ago this week. I cant talk to my sister she puts the phone down or wont text back and if i try talking to her face to face she leaves. Shes always been spoilt and i know this sounds childish but shes always been the favourite.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): It sounds like he's taking advantage of you. You should move on from him to stop yourself from getting hurt. I know you will probably get hurt because your moving on but the pain will heal and you'll feel a lot better afterwards.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Ok well if am going to be truthful then you are going to get hurt again with out a doubt. He doesnt love you or care about you he is using you to get to your sister who he likes. Dont let him use you, be the bigger person and walk away if you dont you are only going to fall deeper and deeper and it will only hurt more and more.
She is not much of a sister if she is going to do that to you, are you close to your mum? Talk to her and tell her how much this is hurting you also tell your sister how much she has broke your trust. Her behaviour is completely unacceptable.
You say the whole way through your relationship he kept mentioning that he wanted to get with your sister, and you say she is 8 months pregnant, are you sure this baby belongs to someone else? If i were you i would be looking in to it more and making 100% sure that your so called man is not the babies father and they have been keeping it from you. Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (3 February 2011):
He certainly likes to keep it in the family doesn't he!
Ok, I do think your sister was wrong for choosing to date him after you split, and also your mother was wrong for getting stuck in the middle and keeping their relationship from you.
However, I can't see what the attraction is with this guy, he is not only a liar and very insensitive, but he appears quite happy with breaking a happy family up.
I really think you and your sisters relationship is more important - talk to each other and have nothing more to do with this low life because if you don't, you will always be wondering whether he is cheating on you with her and probably someone else for that matter!
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