A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hiya ive been with my boyfriend now for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter. the problem is whenever we are supposed to spend any time together he always invites his mate along. we were supposed to be spending bonfire night together just me him and our daughter now he has asked his mate to come along. we havent spent a bonfire night yet without his mate or a halloween even the day we had been together 4 years his mate was round. hes doing any decorating in the house his mate comes to help him. my boyfriend is 30 as am i. i have talked to him a few times about this but nothing changed. what do i do?thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 October 2016):
 This would irritate me a lot. Off course you should be doing family things? Talking has not worked because he knows he is getting away with it, he does not see the harm in his friend and you and his child being there. He seems quite immature for his age. Maybe he feels sorry for his mate because he does not seem to have what he has. Either way it is not fair on you. Maybe have a word with his mate and just be honest.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (18 October 2016):
 He hasn't grown up yet. He doesn't seem to be family-oriented, which is disappointing, as you already have a child together.
This won't change any time soon because he doesn't see anything wrong with it. He's acting a bit like a single, non-parent by having his mate over when it should be family time.
How often does he see his friend?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2016): Since your boyfriend isnt listening try and speak with his mate . Just say to him would he mind not spending time with you this halloween and bonfire night as you want some alone time with your boyfriend . let him think its romantic alone time that a mate should never be involved with . Sometimes you have to bend the truth a little to get what you want and no-one gets hurt
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 October 2016):
 What do you do?
Accept that this is who he is and how he is.
Start doing "family" things without him. Take your child out and enjoy those outings, if he asks why, tell him you are TIRED of him never wanting to do these things without his friend in tow, but that you have no intention of missing these moments with YOUR child.
He is OLD enough to understand why. He just doesn't care, neither does his friend.
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