| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend adds "hot" chicks on facebook, and it upsets me. he doesn't know any of them, he adds them just because. They all have big boobs, and I am really small. I know for a fact he likes big breasts better, I asked him and he told me. I can't complain to him about it, because he gets annoyed and says it doesn't matter and also because he throws something I said way back in my face. Back when we were just starting to date I told him I once walked into my sister and her then BF having sex (before I even met him or knew he existed!). It was kind of a funny story, I told him I hated that guy, etc. He asked me if he was big and well, I said yeah, although he never really seemed upset or mentioned it until MONTHS after that.Now, I have never compared him to ANY guy and have NEVER EVER told him he's small, 'cause he's not. However, when I first saw him naked I didn't go all "GOSH YOU'RE SO BIG!" either. Anyway, I lost my virginity to him, so? He's of average length and a bit above average in girth. He even told me his first girlfriend told him it hurt her to have sex with him, maybe 'cause he was too big. The thing is, he adds these random, busty girls and it upsets me, but if I say anything he says "So what? It's just facebook plus you said your sister's ex was big and you actually saw him in the flesh..." So? It happened when I was 15, I'd never seen a penis before, so that's why he looked bigger probably, then I saw porn and of course he was more on the average side.He has told me my boobs are small, though, without me even asking! I've lost some weight (I used to be overweight) and he told me they'd gotten smaller and if there was anything I could do to make them bigger? I told him other than implants, no. I feel very self conscious even though he compliments them from time to time, he says he likes that they're firm and round... yet it still bugs me inside, I once told him "Well, I'm sure you'd love it if they were bigger" and he kind of smirked and said nothing. All his favorite celebrities and other girls he finds hot are big on top...Ugh, what can I do to feel better and not care about these girls he adds on facebook? He gets really annoyed if I mention it!
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boobs, breasts, facebook, lost my virginity, overweight, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): You asked this a couple of days ago too.
the best way to deal with this is to ignore his behaviour completely. The size of your breasts is something you have to live with. When you are comfortable with it, he will be too. And he's just doing the facebook thing to irritate you. Once you stop reacting to it, he'll stop.
And it does not matter how big or small or anything anyone, esp your sister's boyfriend is. The more importance you give it the worse it will get.
A
male
reader, ReturningtheFavor  +, writes (10 January 2010):
It is very insensitive that he does do that especially knowing how it does hurt your feelings, but take it from me, guys dont always prefer size. Its definitely the quality rather quantity. Dont worry about the girls he finds hot having larger chests because he is with you. There is much more to a relationship than breast. Guys dont like to admit it, but we get emotionally involved with a woman and that is what keeps us around. Dont get me wrong physical attraction is very important but its the entire package (both physically and emotionally) that really attracts us to the women in our lives. I know it may bother you but men are window shoppers. Its may sound biased because I am a man but we may look, may thinking about touching, but at the end of the day we know that what we have with the woman in our life is far greater than any purely physcial attraction we have to a random woman. The girls on face book are for show! He probably wants to keep up with his buddies. (We are much more insenstive if it involves our buddies, dont worry him looking but be cautious about his insensitivity)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): Why are you bothering with such an immature, selfish pig? You need to take a good look at what he's telling you by his actions (I don't care about your feelings) and determine how many more YEARS you're willing to be his toilet paper.
IMO, you need to find someone who will feel privileged to be in a relationship with you, and not someone who feels entitled to crap on you.
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