A
female
age
36-40,
*yboyfriendsacnt
writes:Hi, i wonder if you can help. I'm a 21 year old female and my partner is 28. we have been dating for 2 years and are living together in his appartment above his family home in his country. (greece). Its very hard for me here as its a small island and he sems to know everyone here and i know next to no one. its asthough im just Petros girlfriend. everywhere we go its him people want to talk to and part of the culture means that i might not even be introduced, just ignored. A big problem is that i dont speak greek, although everyone here speaks english they tend not to (which i can understand as i am in greece) but Its all very strange to me and seems extremely rude but i try not to let it get me down. The main problem is that i cant orgasm while having sex. my boyfriend knows this but doesnt seem to bother even making me orgasm through foreplay anymore. all i think about when having sex is him and all i want is for him to be pleasured in the best way possible. i just wish he'd feel the same about me. we have sex around every 2 or 3 days. If i had it my way it would be more but i respect that i may have a higher lobido. i just get so frustrated when everytime we do get to having sex i dont orgasm because then i know that i have to wait another 2 days for another attempt. I have mentioned this to him previously. i pointed out to him that it had been 3 weeks since i had an orgasm whereas hed orgasmed over 27 times. its very hard to talk to him and talking can ofter result and esculate into a large row where nothing is resolved. despite this the next evening he did make me orgasm. which was great,,, i made sure i showed how greatful i was by returning the favour but it feels asthough after this he felt his 'deed' was done and didnt bother again after that. (it has been another 3 weeks since i orgasmed.) I feel like this whole situation is very hard to deal with. he has his family/friends/money/ whereas i have nothing here. i dont have any control, if i want anything i have to do it with him and i dont have a spec of indipendance. this may be the reason he doesnt feel so sexually towards me anymore as i know a confident independant woman is much more attractive than an emotional wreck. But theres no way i can control this. ive asked him to get me greek lessons and he has been on at me to learn greek in the past but he just puts it off. i hope you can help as i feel jealousy and hatred for my boyfriend.. i feel like hes a spoilt brat and has always had everything he could ever want given to him and doesnt realise that sometimes you need to give. and he can never say sorry or admit hes wrong. im starting to hate his family for this aswell,,, hes 28 and everything he has is baught by family. im going crazy here. please help me!
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female
reader, alexis1234  +, writes (20 April 2013):
It the way he is and the way he has been raised. Unless he sees a problem with it or is willing to change you have two choices:
Accept it or leave. I know its not that simple but you really don't have any other options.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): i agree. give him an ultimatum. if he doesn't cut you some slack, leave him before he strips you off of all the dignity that you have. believe me.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 You have every reason to leave him. But you are not even talking about it. why doesnt it occur to you?
everybody talks greek, it is a differnt culture, you cannot even have greek lessons, you dont like his family hes been an asshole...And you keep talking about orgasms, Is it going to prevent you getting crazy?
The sooner the better get out. Leave...
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A
female
reader, hugs2muchgal +, writes (26 November 2007):
 All I can say is, give him an ultimatum. This man does not appreciate you at all. You've given up alot to be with him and he has only gained, never given. He brought you to a place where you don't know the people, culture, or language AND on top of that, isn't even attempting to help you adjust. This guy is an ass.
Tell him he will either start giving you the respect you need, or leave. Go back home where you can be an independent person, with her own friends, family and finances. Then find a new guy who will appreciate you and give you everything you deserve.
I know two years is a long time, but if he keeps treating you the way he has, it'll only get worse. If you feel like you hate him...it's time to move on.
Best of luck being the strong and independent woman you can be,
Hugs
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A
male
reader, a day at a time  +, writes (26 November 2007):
it appears he does not respect you for who you are sexually and as a person in his town. he has taken you for granted it seems to me, if you want to learn greak then do some research as to where you can learn it and show him the results and insist on the funds to do it, if he wont respond it seems he does not want you to have independance and wants you for his woman when he pleases this also is why he does not make love to you that makes you feel like you can climax with him or he will not go to the effort to make you feel good as he may not care, my own experence i give to the woman the love and care and tender touch before i even get close to climax and if i dont reach climax i can be satisfied my partner has been satisfied this gives me great pleasure. review the above and decide if this is the life you want as we only have one go at life as we know it here on earth be happy and follow your heart the answer will come. good luck
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