A
female
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anonymous
writes:My new boyfriend and I have been going out for about a month. Our relationship is great but there is one problem (it's my problem). He ONLY has female friends, which bugs me. I am the jealous type-so I asked him why he hasnt dated any of them (because he talks about them like he wanted/wants to). He said "It is not like I would not date them, they all of had boyfriends or the timing hasn't been right"..Now what I am supposed to think of that?? Am I over analyzing things or should I just ignore it? It seemed odd the way he said it.
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female
reader, tania171  +, writes (21 August 2007):
I have the same problem, I have been with my boy friend for two years, he told me his past which he assrued me that now he is with me that is matter, but he still speaks to his ex partners and all the females he contacted through dating agency, he tells me every think but I do not understand why he keeps the friendship with all the female friends when he has got me, due to our age and children we already have so many problems and inspite of loving him I am finding it hard to accept his ex wife, ex partners and all the female friends.I try to walk away but he is fun to be with and makes me happy at our age it is a bonus to find a nice person. What should I do leave him and be alone again or put with it, he does not sleep with them some of them he has not met them since he met me.
A
female
reader, bev +, writes (10 March 2006):
hello yes my boyfriend has femail and x as friends sorry it dose eat you in side i cant dill with it so i told him you can have femail friend but there is a line to it x tell then to sto if you knoe thay still cear its not fer on you to put up with that so yes there is a line if thay cross it then call it a day you come first 100% each way to build the relshionship so dont be taken for a fool tell him haw it makes you fill and thet him no that there is a line for hie femail friend not to cross . i love my partner so much but i will wolk away if he thinks of them first .so stand up and dont let this eat you inside it wont lelp the relstionship at all you go girl good luck bev
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for the help. I have talked to him a little about it and he admitted that he has slept with "a few" of his female friends in the past by "accident" but he never had a girlfriend when it happened. Also, every once in a while one of his friends will come over his house late at night and stay until I dont know when. He says he is just helping them deal with a problem but I really question it. I live about an hour away from him, so it is hard to keep track of him all the time, plus I do not want to be the clingy type. Does all that seem like a big red flag?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for the help. I have talked to him a little about it and he admitted that he has slept with "a few" of his female friends in the past by "accident" but he never had a girlfriend when it happened. Also, every once in a while one of his friends will come over his house late at night and stay until I dont know when. He says he is just helping them deal with a problem but I really question it. I live about an hour away from him, so it is hard to keep track of him all the time, plus I do not want to be the clingy type. Does all that seem like a big red flag?
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A
female
reader, twinkle +, writes (4 March 2006):
 hi, well, if you dont have a reason to distrust him then i wouldent make assumptions to soon, ive only got male friends but my boyfriend is fine with it because there all his friends too, the best thnig you can do is try and make friends with them, get to know them then you'l probably realise you were being silly for ever thinking it and you'll have less to worrie about and more friends lol good luckkayx :D
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2006): u sure he aint gay??
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (4 March 2006):
 you are right it does seem odd the way he said it , but it also seems odd that he said it at all, you also make it sound like he is saying he would still date them given the chance, do you really want to be with a guy who would go for his female friends as soon as you were out the picture? to me if a guy is worth having then he would be too wrapped up in our relationship to think of his friends that way and even if he had thought of his friends that way in the past then i would expect that he would use a little tact and not put it so bluntly , which is why i agree with you its odd the way he told you that.
if you have doubts , stick with your intuition.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (4 March 2006):
 I am speaking now as somebody who is very much like this guy. The vast majority of my friends are female and to be honest I much prefer the company of females in general. There are certain past/personality reasons for this. I have also wanted to date/ have dated a couple in my time.
I don't think you are over analysing but you do maybe have to appreciate that there maybe good reason why he has just female friends other than he's attracted to them. The thing is we have all had a past and past attractions but now he has chosen to be with you and from what you say he's affectionate to you and the rest of the relationship is going grand.
If, for example, he paid them more attention than you I would worry but that does not seem to be the case here from what you are saying. Keep an eye on it by all means and maybe if you feel comfortable with this you could try and get to know some of his closer friends. Hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 March 2006):
 Unless he's giving you a solid reason to question him, leave it alone. That is, as long as he keeps a respectable distance from them and isn't flirting. Keep an eye on it though.
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A
female
reader, bananagoat +, writes (4 March 2006):
I would say that if you are already troubled by his friends this early in the relationship you should probably end it before it gets more invloved. His response to your question indicates that his feelings towards his friends may be deeper than they may think.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2006): hey, this is so strange because like you I have the same problem and I have also only been dating my guy for a month. I get so jealous and he just doesn't understand. I deal with it by telling him exactly how I feel and he agrees to not talk about it as he refuses to stop seeing any of these girls as friends. Sometimes you just have to choose between putting up with it or letting go.
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