A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Not a relationship question...but this place has never failed me when I need help, so here we go.About a month ago, I started a new job. Yesterday, my boss called me into her office and informed me that she has received complaints from others in the office that I smell. She was very polite about it, but obviously, it's still incredibly mortifying and led to me stopping at the store on the way home to stock up on deodorant and Sunmer's Eve before proceeding to go home and cry my way through a 30+ minute shower. Definitely NOT the first shower I've ever taken, by the way...I shower every night and often jump in for a little refresher before getting dressed for work in the mornings; I follow this up with putting on deodorant. I wash my clothes frequently with detergent, too. My diet consists of nothing unusual. My weight is not exactly where it should be, and it's the heaviest I've ever been. I'm roughly 210, which with a height of 5'5 puts my BMI somewhere in the 30s. The only place I really carry obvious weight is my belly; I had a baby almost two years ago and went on the Pill afterward, and going back to my 150-pound former self just hasn't happened. So, I'm not sure if it could be weight-related or Pill-related.I have held a handful of jobs over the years and have never had this complaint made (not even when the job involved lifting/pushing/pulling and it wasn't unusual for me to work up a bit of a sweat), nor have my family or friends ever said anything (I was bullied in high school for a few things, but offensive odor was never one of them. The bully in question picked out a speck on my big toenail that she swore was a fungus...spoiler alert, it wasn't...and made my life miserable over that, and if she could hone in on something that small, I don't doubt for a second that she wouldn't have seized an odor to make fun of if one had been around). I asked my former boss for her opinion, and she promptly said that I did not ever smell, as far as she was concerned. This woman is quite likely the most blunt, forward, talk-shit-when-shit-needs-talked person in existence, so I really don't feel like she was just being nice by saying that (in my years of working for her, she chewed my butt about plenty of other stuff and even made me cry a time or two, so I know she's got it in her). It's only been just over a month since she was last around me, and in that time, nothing has changed with my hygiene routine or laundry or anything.I find it seriously hard to believe that I've actually made it 29 years without anyone--friend or foe--telling me that I smell if I do, indeed, have odor issues. I'm married, for God's sake, so there's a man who shares a house and a bed with me and has never said anything (we've been together a total of 10 years, too, so it's not like we're still in that honeymoon phase where he might be scared to say something). So, it seems to have come on suddenly, rather than being something that has lingered. I'm wondering if this could be a sign of an underlying health problem and will be making an appointment with my doctor to rule that out. This is absolutely embarrassing and makes me want to just hide out in my house forever. It's actually making me question everyone in my life that I've come into close contact with and wonder if they're all just quietly holding their breath and waiting for me to go away. And trust me, if switching jobs was a viable option, I would do it in a heartbeat so that I'd never have to face anyone from this office again.What are some remedies for apparent stinkiness when I already shower daily, wear deodorant, and do laundry? Also, if it does turn out to be a health issue, is it likely that it will be cleared up with treatment?
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bullied, co-worker, my boss, the pill Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2021): It's possible that a coworker might be taking medicine that could alter their sense of smell, such as antibiotics.
I suffered that effect twice.
In one occasion, I complained to a restaurant manager that our server had severe alitosis.
My wife disagreed and was upset about it.
After arguing and once at home, we realized that I was on antibiotics and could be suffering that very same effect again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2021): FYI
Some scents and perfumes are made from extracts from animal musk and animal secretions; and these can sour once they get old. Once you put them on and sweat, your body chemistry conflicts with the perfume; and the odor can be quite offensive or strong. You may not notice it, being used to the fragrance. Like I mentioned, you could be nose-deaf; and it may not turn until hours after putting it on.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2021): Your boss didn't say you stink. She said some co-workers complained that you stink. You should have asked the boss while in her office with the door closed if she smelled anything. That she didn't confirm the co-workers complaint On her own is telling.
You have never had this complaint before. Your husband has never said anything no former coworkers or friends and your straight talking former boss has confirmed that you do not stink.
After you have done all the investigating that everyone recommends you are going to find you have a co-worker(s) problem not an odor problem.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2021): I don't think the issue is smell at all. Maybe for some reason they don't want you there with them. They are ganging up against you maybe they have something to hide. You should have asked your boss immediately when she called you to her office if she thought you smelled? One other thought I can think of is that most young mothers do smell of nappies and talc powder but that is only noticeable when you are very close to them like hugging for instance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2021): I would personally ask both my doctor and HR for an opinion. My gut tells me that you don’t smell, and are being bullied.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2021): Hi
Yes, sometimes their are underlying health issues, you obviously know it's not your breath (health issues can cause this).
I am so sorry that you have been called into the office for something like this This happened to a male friend of mine a few years ago, he shared a house let with us. He never ever smelt and was very hygienic and groomed also confident and happy go lucky.
He came home one day absolutely devastated saying a 2 co worker's had actually wrote a letter of complaint to their (distant) boss blah blah blah. We knew straight away what this was really about, he was a really really clever well liked young computer tech guy. Jealousy! A cruel knock down that damaged his confidence in a big way, he ended up leaving out of embarrassment. So wrong he never smelt but guess what a couple of years later he married had kids and became very very wealthy because he was smart with his tech creations.
You know what you do in your grooming routine, and oral care, check health and be on your guard for WHO actually instigated this.
I don't believe a word of what they say.
Please be big and bold in your spirit and be confident and happy and comeback even larger than life and let nobody try and crush your spirit.
Good grooming every day, nice body and hair sprays, oral hygiene at dentist, doctors for check up, nice laundered fresh clothing, no smoke or alcohol or garlic and wipe the floor with the lot of them. Treat the office space as your stage and own it and feel like a goddess . Go get em girl, we have one life, live it well.
Who interviewed you?
You are new.
BELIEVE the truth, bullying going on covert.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 January 2021):
 The other aunts have given great advice!
I can give a couple of other possible suggestions:
Do you either eat a lot of garlic or take cholesterol medication from over the counter? Do you take ANY prescription medication? That can make you smell and not know it! garlique for example makes people REEK and so does Beano. Also some lotions like Ben Gay or ICY Hot are pungent or some overly perfumy lotions or soaps. Also instead of showering in the evening, shower in the morning.
You may be dealing with a stomach issue too or breath problem. keep mints and a toothbrush at work and brush up after lunch. Also your deodorant should be really good. Many of those homemade eco made stuff doesn’t work. Good old fashioned Degree or Secret should do the trick along with a simple body wash. If you sweat, some powder might help if you are a hot flash sweater.
Drink some fruit juices. You’d be surprised at how that might help! Also the others are right about your house. It may stink and you have gone nose blind. Lots of pets or leaving things dirty or not doing the dishes can throw up smells that cling to you. Smokers too! But pets usually are the worst culprit. I can smell a cat owner who doesn’t do a good job cleaning the cat box a mile aaay! A self cleaning cat box is a godsend!
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 January 2021):
The other aunts have given great advice!
I can give a couple of other possible suggestions:
Do you either eat a lot of garlic or take cholesterol medication from over the counter? Do you take ANY prescription medication? That can make you smell and not know it! garlique for example makes people REEK and so does Beano. Also some lotions like Ben Gay or ICY Hot are pungent or some overly perfumy lotions or soaps. Also instead of showering in the evening, shower in the morning.
You may be dealing with a stomach issue too or breath problem. keep mints and a toothbrush at work and brush up after lunch. Also your deodorant should be really good. Many of those homemade eco made stuff doesn’t work. Good old fashioned Degree or Secret should do the trick along with a simple body wash. If you sweat, some powder might help if you are a hot flash sweater.
Drink some fruit juices. You’d be surprised at how that might help! Also the others are right about your house. It may stink and you have gone nose blind. Lots of pets or leaving things dirty or not doing the dishes can throw up smells that cling to you. Smokers too! But pets usually are the worst culprit. I can smell a cat owner who doesn’t do a good job cleaning the cat box a mile aaay! A self cleaning cat box is a godsend!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2021): I'm also afraid to fault cruelty through bigotry. If you are of a different race or nationality than your co-workers; there may be no smell at all. It was meant to humiliate you in a cowardly and vicious way. I don't care how nice your boss may have pretended to be. What kind of boss would even attempt to do such a thing, and who reports it? I've never even heard of body odor complaints in all my years!
Our nation is very racist, and people feel all to happy to display it. If your doctor finds no medical cause, and nobody else detects this so-called body odor; then contact the Department of labor. This should be a last resort, once you've covered all the bases.
You may be a victim of on-the-job racial-hostility and discrimination. Being a new employee, it might be touchy to go to your HR; because they may be prone to covering their own backsides! It may not change anything to report it to the Labor Department; but it will put your employer on notice, if they're condoning a hostile work-environment.
Consider searching for a new job, if nothing is evident from medical tests; and if nobody else detects a smell but your co-workers. It's better-off not being around people who are nasty and cruel enough to do such a thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2021): Some odors are undetectable to our own sense of smell. What some might call odor-deaf. You have to see your doctor. It's usually a sign of an underlying medical issue, when it's not diet, a medication, or your hygiene. My heart sank to read how you felt after your boss addressed the issue. I'm so sorry!
Your doctor will run a series of tests to determine if you have diabetes, hormone fluctuations, an infection, etc.
Whatever it is, it will be determined through medical diagnosis. Don't worry. If you're using a dated perfume, you might want to stop. Some fragrances turn when they're old, and your body chemistry can conflict with them.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 January 2021):
 I don't think YOU stink, OP
But go see your doctor. It can't hurt. Also ASK your husband to be honest with you.
So here for the many questions.
Do you bring food to work perhaps? That is stored near you?
Do you smoke? Live with a smoker?
Because in cold and wet weather it CLINGS to hair and clothes and while the smoker don't really notice it, others might. And for non-smokers... yeah that stinks. I remember working in a daycare and you could tell from the kids WHO's parents were smokers and WHO's weren't. It was kind of gross when a 9 months old smelled like old ashtray even with clean clothes on.
Do you have a dog? Cat?
Again, you might be used to the smell of your dog/cat but people who don't have pets might smell that on you.
Do you SIT close to others?
If so, go to Dollar Tree and buy some scent satchets ( 2 for a $) and have on in your desk-drawers. I have the lavender for my linen closet, and the white roses for my closet and the passion fruit for the broom/mob closet and one under the shoe rack, and they are subtle but noticeable. :)
While I don't recommend people using products like, Summer's Eve as you REALLY don't need to deodorize your privates and the vagina IS self cleaning - people can't smell your privates, unless they are face to crotch.
Lastly, where you live is that with well-water or city water? Because our old house was well-water so extremely soft water which could give clothes an odd smell (almost moldy) - I had to go through maybe 8 different detergents before I found one that worked. Also, run your washer once a week with a cup of vinegar and HOT water (no clothes in it) it will kill any bacteria or mold in the washer.
I think you would KNOW if you smelled or your clothes smell. To be frank. I know if I'm a bit "rank". I think most of us are USED to our own scent, but we also know when we are a bit stinky.
Lastly, I want to say this, TRY not to take this too personal. I would even suggest you TALK to your boss again and ASK her point blank what she smells on you.
Maybe you just have some shitty catty coworkers :(
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