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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a problemI have been with my boyfriend for about 3 weeks. We've been on a few dates together and everything has been going fantastically well and we are both very much into eachother.However, recently, he had some problems at home, he had a row with his parents and as punishment, they have stopped giving him money and he can't make any phone calls or go out.When my boyfriend told me about this, i told him that it dosen't have to be a big deal for both of us and i can be patient and wait until he is on good terms with his parents again. But he is saying he dosen't know what to do about me and him now, and kept apologising to me.I'm thinking that he thinks it's not fair on me that we won't get to see eachother for a while and i'm upset, that's why he might want to break up with me.But he won't tell me what's going on. He just says that he honestly doesn't know what to do about us and he's got loads of things on his mind at the moment.Do you think i should back off? I've told him i don't want us to break up, and i really don't want to lose him. I think the absolute world of him!Any advice i will be truly grateful for
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (8 March 2006):
 What did he do that he gets this punishment, and how long before it is lifted.
He does seem to need to spend some time at home building bridges and getting his head sorted out, so it is understandable that he has worries about you added to them.
My advice is to tell him that there is no rush, and that you will not be going off with anyone else, re-assure him and tell him that as soon as the ban is lifted you can have a nice day out.
A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (8 March 2006):
 I agree with missbunbury, the lad is having problems at home and maybe its not such a good time for you two to be getting involved with each other, you don't want to end up wrapped up in his personal problems...
You sound quite young and I would say that because you two have only just started to see each other, that to have these problems so early on is a bit unfortunate.
It may be beneficial for you to let him have the time to himself. If you 'back off' whilst his parents are punishing him, and let him know he can talk to you when he wants, he may come back to you later on when he's not in so much trouble. Then it will be easier for you guys to have a good time. Right now though, this sounds like stress that you do not need.
If he is not aloud out it shouldn't stop you going out and having fun, you need to let your hair down and enjoy yourself with other friends. When you do that you'll be able to think about this situation more clearly.
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A
female
reader, missbunbury +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Yes, back off. I don't mean this in a nasty way, but you two have only just started to get to know each other - it's much too early to be putting any pressure on him. It sounds like he has problems at home, and you should let him know that if he does want to talk, you're there - but let's face it, most men aren't brilliant at the old talking! The last thing you want to do, if you really like him, is add to whatever problems he's having, so you're going to have to accept that this is the time to take a backseat and let him sort things out in his own time.
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