| A
female
,
*obbins_girl
writes: My boyfriend and I got in a fight a few days ago. His parents tried to keep him busy so he couldn't call me or answer any of my calls.His sister said she thought I was violent and would 'abuse' him. I slapped him once when he basically said he liked asian girls more than he liked me (I am a curvy German who knows how to eat but isn't over weight- but is very sensitive.) I slapped him lightly. I have other times been playing around with him and smacked him in the stomach. Completely accidental and hardly violent.We made up and stayed together, but his family is still concerned that I am abusive and they obviously hate me.Even he has been acting a bit weird, what do I do?
View related questions:
violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Never would I accept being slapped by someone I was involved with, nor would I encourage anyone to stay in any relatinship where one person hit the other in any way because they were a little angry. What will you do when you become very angry?
You are a potential abuser, and should seek anger management classes, and refrain from being involved with anyone until you learn to express your displeasure without resorting to any form of physical violence.
This is not the 1800s, and you are not a lady being confronted by a masher in an alley, this was your friend you hit, and he was struck because you did not like what he had to say. That is totaly unacceptable behaviour as far as I'm concerned, and I bet his parents think the same.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): It sounds like he's reassessing and rethinking his relationship with you. His family dislike you and they are likely 'working on him' to give you some 'walking papers'. I think you are wise to be cautious and nervous, not only about this family but especially about him. If he loved you, he would take a stand and tell his family to respect you. It doesn't sound like he's willing to help you out, here. It really appears he may allow his family to interfere in his life and yank him around quite a bit. Do you want this, in your future? I hope not, that would be a waste.
When you date or get into a long term serious relationship, you don’t just associate yourself with your bf, you come under the scrutiny of his entire family. To be involved with this family that totally rejects you is a painful, hurtful position to be in. And this toxicity is harmful to your future, ongoing relationship with this fellow.
I don't agree with slapping a loved one but I can understand how a young couple can do so, in a joking, playful manner. His family are likely over reacting to something that is really...none of their business. They have judged you and I do not know if these bad feelings can be repaired, but you should try, hopefully with your bf's assistance. If they can’t change the way they view you then you need to accept that and start making other plans. You need to let go of this fellow and find a more happier, loving relationship for yourself. Life is too precious to spend it in a "war zone" where people hate you, day in and day out.
...............................
|
