A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Why is it that other family members from your partner's side always brings a little bit of your partner's past up in front of you when it were from 13 years ago it really bugs me as its not to do with me and it hurts me to hear the exs name.
View related questions:
his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you to you all
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2006): I always say that people do have control over 'what they say and how they think'. It's called 'choice'. I have no idea why people do what your bf's family is doing to you, but they can control it if they want to. This has nothing to do with jealousy on your part but it is clearly an issue of disrespect. What type of people are these 'in laws'? Their behaviours says a lot about them, doesn't it. Sadly, you wouldn't be the first person who had issues with 'in-laws' and had to tolerate the little digs and innuendo.
Everyone has had past lovers, spouses and exes. This is life, but most decent, respectable, well mannered people do not blatantly throw 'past stories, names and situations", in the face, of a loved one's new partner. This is your bf's family and some boundries need to be put in place as this is uncaring and unthinking behaviours on their part. He needs to speak up and tell his family, that this type of talk is unacceptable. I would talk to your bf and ask him why his family does this. He knows why.
In the meantime, you might have to back away and not visit as often. And when you do visit and the ex's name comes up in conversation, just excuse yourself from the conversation. Handle yourself with dignity and class. You just have to learn to emotionally detach yourself from all this or this will drive you batty. But I would talk to your bf about this. I would ask him to deal with it. How you both deal with this..will set the tone for your future realtionship, with this guy. He needs to learn that the hurtful behaviours his family are inflicting on you, are painful, disrespectful and totally unecessary. Good luck, dear.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 October 2006):
 If they are doing it to get a rise out of you, don't give them the satisfaction. Pretend you didn't hear them and smile sweetly. The past is past so ignore.
...............................
A
female
reader, xENZx +, writes (11 October 2006):
Tell them that you have nothing to do with him OR his family any more.
If they want to still chat and be your friend, then they'll get the idea and not bring up his name.If not, then just avoid them!
xx
...............................
A
male
reader, jack23 +, writes (11 October 2006):
 Dont let it get to you. Just think hes not with her hes with you, and them talking bout her isnt going to change that.
They may just be doing it subconciously, as you are new to the family relationships will be the hot topic. If you just give it a little bit of time I'd think it will just blow over.
Try and be strong and a little patient. :)
...............................
|
