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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is a silly concern.Today I was telling my BF I lost 2 pounds out of nowhere. He was happy for me. I've lost a lot of weight since we started dating. He's always been very attracted to me. We were talking about my weight and height... he noted he was only a few inches taller than me. Then he made some remark about how my ex fwb and my ex crush were taller than him, that maybe I should go out with someone taller. I started reassuring him, telling him that his height is uninmportant, because he IS taller than me and that I'd look weird with someone MUCH taller than me, that I feel proud of showing him off when we go out, and that I love him just the way he is. I tried to examplify and told him "Your exes are thinner and smaller than me overall, right?" and he said "Yes"... well it was the idea, because I was trying to prove the point that he doesn't love me any less because I'm pudgier and bigger than them, that he's just as attracted to me, etc... it did work.However, now I feel a bit bad that he reckons they are thinner and smallr. They're generally considered hot, I'm not. As a girl I compare myself and know who is thinner, so naturally I knew beforhand, but as he's a guy I didn't think he'd notice that kind of stuff. I feel a bit self conscious, how can I imporve my self image? I HAVE always been genetically bigger than most girls my age (much taller, and pudgier)... Even when I've been single, I've always tried to cope with people constantly pointing out how big I am compared to the rest (mostly relatives make such comments).So how can I improve my self image and care less about what others look like or think?
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confidence, crush, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 February 2008):
 You can also Google that question and get all those tips online.There is a wealth of info there.
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (14 February 2008):
Know who and what you are . Think of all those positive qualities you want to have.
You are smart, intelligent,beautiful ,lovely, kind , generous, helpful and friendly.
Love yourself and think positive always.
Value yourself and don't be too self critical .
Don't put yourself down.
Tell yourself everyday that you are very special and unique .You are lovable and beautiful inside and outside.
For more go to this link ;-
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/keep-integrity-and-stay-married.html
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): Wow he adores you and you adore him don't get sucked into this battle all of us females have with ourselves about not measuring up. The only solution is try to eat healthier most times and do something physical you love for your health, try to be healthy drink more water, eat more veggies and forget numbers on the scale and forget body types sizes, you are a unique and beautiful woman. That's more than enough.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): Hi,I've been there and this is not a silly concern! Your self esteem is very important.I think it's awesome that you know you have a self esteem issue at 16, many people don't realise this until their twenties or later!You sound like a very intelligent woman, be proud of your accomplishments in life and don't focus exclusively on your looks to measure your self worth. I am sure you are a beautiful person; remember it is our quirks or the things that set us apart from others that catch other people's attention. You say you're not considered "hot" and your boyfriend's exs are, but that makes no sense. He is dating you AFTER he dated them, therefore you must be beautiful and special in your own way to have attracted him.In my own experience (I am a thin, tall girl), I find people can be extremely rude in their comments about my weight and height. When I was 16 this really upset me, but nowadays (I'm 25), I realise that often people ask questions/ make comments to deflect their own insecurities. I would suggest you take up an activity you enjoy, confidence comes when you work hard and are proud of the results.It sounds like you have a supportive boyfriend, and you have wisdom beyond your years. Take heart, and be proud of yourself and self confidence will follow. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 Confidence in who you are is what helps you care less about what others think. But a good work-out like biking, hiking, or aeorbic dance will help you stay in shape and keep toned. You can't really change your bone structure, or height but you can wear clothes that accentuate your best features. Study fashion magazines, or go to a stylist and find out what clothes will make you look your best. Posture is also key to looking and feeling confident. Other than that, you can always go to a salon and have a hair make-over which might boost your self esteem. Sometimes new make-up and some highlights makes a women really shine. Just remember your b/f is with you, not the thinner-than-you ex girlfriends. Regardless of the things you are self-conscious about, you probably have a great personality, are smart, witty, funny and enjoyable to be around. So focus on the positive. We are all too hard on ourselves. Good luck!
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