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female
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*onfusedNnlove
writes: Ive tried n tried to make our relationship work, but sumtimes I get so frustrated!My bf is always telling me that he doesnt think its a good idea for me 2 go places and says its becuz hes over protective and cares bout me but sumtimes I wonder. lI mean, sumtimes I can c it, becuz of the people id be going with arent the most responsible, theyve gotten me into trouble b4. But sumtimes he has no right, you know? I try not to think that its just that he wants to be and control of my life, well, that he just wants my life to revolve round him, becuz I want 2 believe he really is who he says he is and that he really just cares bout me becuz my luck is bad and I usually get the shit end of the stick.I just dont know anymore. I cancel hangin out w/ my friends so I can b here 2 wait round for him 2 call me when he gets home from school, and i dont go places becuz he either thinks its bad idea or I feel guilty becuz hes sittin round @ home and I'm out w/ friends. Hes never given me a reason not to believe him, I aint never caught him in a huge lie. Is it logical 4 me to 2nd guess him? I think so becuz its hard 2 believe that hes so different from the rest of the world and that he dosnt have any other motives behind this. Help? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): Hey there,
I just wanted to say, in my own opinion that i think your bf just cares for you alot.
I mean yes he is protective over you because your his gf and he just doesn't wnt anything to happen to you.
You say the people you hand around arent that responsible and have gotten you in trouble before, this is more so the reason why he is worried for you when you go out with them.
I will confess, i myself use to be kind of like your bf and NO i was not controlling, i just cared for my gf alot and the people she use to hang around wasen't responsible either. I didn't tell her that she can't go out with her friends, i let her go out with them, but i told her that i don't like the idea of her hanging out with them alot and that i would rather spend time with her. But if she really wanted to go then i'd let her.
When my gf goes out with her friends and im at home waiting for her, she doesn't even think about me or feel guilty about it...
I think you should sit down and talk to him about it more...
A
female
reader, onewish89hmb +, writes (5 October 2006):
 Okay, i know you won't listen to me but eventually you will learn to move on from him. Trust me, before the boyfriend i have now, i was with someone exactly like that. He was SO controlling. You need to get out of this relationship while you can. Controlling people can brainwash you and make your life SO hard to deal with. Get out while you can. Even though he may not seem abusive now, they COULD change. I'm not saying he will but he could. Just get out now. I know it is easier said than done and they will say they will change and do anything to make you stay but don't listen. If you are depressed after you break up, just hang out with friends and keep remembering you deserve better, talk to guys as friends, and just do things that you love doing. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, bumble bee +, writes (4 October 2006):
this bloke wants to control you, dont let him do it.
if my bf told me i culdnt go somewhere i would go, and id go there regularly, we women need to stand up for ourselves, in this day and age we have as much right to do as we please as men.
make him change or get rid of the possessive freak.
maybe a little strong but i want to get my point across i hope i help
xXx
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