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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has recently started going out with both male and female friends every Saturday night. He tells me the weekend before that I can also come, but then mid-week he tells me it's only work or some other excuse. We both work and don't get to see each other much except weekends. I have made clear my feelings but he still says he will not include me and go out. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Happygoddess +, writes (31 August 2005):
Definitely the best approach is to be honest with him. Tell him that you love him and your time together is priority to you and you want to spend the weekends with him doing fun things. This includes going out with his friends, and maybe you will meet some new friends of your own along the way!
If he gives you excuses, don't blow up at him. Instead, say to him "Even if I don't know anyone there I know you and want to spend the time out as well". Based on his reaction, go from there.
I personally believe once you are "off the market" and coupled with someone, you leave behind the bar scene unless you are out with your significant other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2005): I have the same situation and this is my understanding on why some men want to do that: They are tired of working all week, they want to relax, and sometimes mixing some type of friends with your partner doesn't match. By this I mean that if you are there, he has to be there with you. But he also wants to be with his friends and the way for him to do that is with out you. That doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, is just that he needs some space just for himself. It is true that he can only see you during the weekends, but that is also the same time he has to share with other people. Compare the time he spends with you and the time he spends with them.You know that you are more important to him than them! don't you? Don't worry... because if you push too hard he will start lying to be able to have his space. Is better if you let him do it so that he tells you the truth.
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