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anonymous
writes: Last weekend a gay friend of mine kissed me and I reciprocated, thinking it was quite amusing and totally harmless fun. My boyfriend saw me and now considers me a cheat and very nearly split up with me over it. I have said sorry so many times and he knows how much I love him, yet he continues to torture me over it. He has no trust in me, is routing around my private things trying to check up on me, and doesn't believe anything I say anymore. I thought I'd met the one. Do I deserve this treatment and will things ever be the same between us?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2005): Hey,I'd like to bring some personal introspective here, from a guys point of view.Last October I attended a party with my then girlfriend. She had prevously worried me by asking would I consider it cheating if she kissed another girl. I had replied that yes, I would. I am of the opinion that if you are going out with someone(and especially if you say you love them, as she did me) they should be the only one you kiss.Upon arriving, she reiterated the question, and I replied in the same manner. A mere half hour later, upon exiting a taxi, she began eating the face of her best friend (female).While I was standing roughly three feet away.I dumped her after a week of trying to come to terms with this betrayal.I have always had a policy of not tolerating cheaters, and I would regard anyone who kisses someone other than their partner as a cheater.I know this wasn't what you wanted to hear, so sorry.Shane
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reader, star3482 +, writes (9 May 2005):
iam assuming the gay friend is a guy, it was cheating but not proper cheating as there were no sexual feelings involved. It was definately a stupid thing to do, you will just have to tell him to either stay with you and forgive it or leave. good luck x
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reader, BubbaRub +, writes (9 May 2005):
Coming from a man's point of view, If I were to see my girlfriend of 3 years kissing another man...I dont care who, I would feel every right to be angry and question her faithfulness. Put yourself in his shoes, if you saw him kissing a friend who you knew was openly gay but yet he still did it, would you just let it slide? I disagree with Devils Advocate in the part that there is a difference in being promiscous and being unfaithful...THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. If you are with that person, then stay with that person and that person only. If you have questions on your sexuality and want to explore, talk to him first and see how he feels about it...that way just in case he thinks it's a bad idea and says no you can figure out what is important to you. My parents relationship ended when I was 2 because my father cheated on my mother, so that might have something to do with how I feel, but to me there is not any difference in being promiscous and being unfaithful.
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reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (8 May 2005):
 How would you feel if he kissed a girl? Would you consider that to be harmless and amusing? The sex of the other party is irrelevant, the fact that some interaction went on can be construed as cheating.Although there is a generalisation that a man will find two women kissing a turn on, if one of them is his bird, he will more than likely see that as "playing away".The point that I am making is that there is a difference between being promiscuous and being unfaithful. They are two completely different and separate issue which you need to evaluate and deal with.
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