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female
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anonymous
writes: I just found out that my boyfriend has been talking to his ex on the phone at work. I saw her number on his cell phone. She does not live in the area and he says she has called a few times to chat and he has called her a couple of times. He also said she always asks how I am and would love to get together with both of us if she ever comes here. It sounds like she is being decent and yet I am still jealous. They were together for a long time and he took up with me not long after they broke up. Do I have a right to be jealous?
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at work, broke up, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): My bf i and jus recently got back together after we were apart for a number of months during this time he had a not very serious relationship with another and ended things wen we decided we would get bak together. Everything was going fine until they recently decided to meet up for coffee behind my bak i confronted him about it when i found out and have been trying to work through the situation. however i seem to believe that she didnt take my reaction to what happend as serious as it was, she continues to send my bf messages and jokes about being able to see him again. Now i have to pluck up courage for tomorrows party as i am going with my bf and she is going to be there. i dnt see why i feel the need to be scared but i am and i also feel very threatend, everytime i think about it i jus feel sick....im not too sure how to act or wat to do???
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): There are women who maintain friendly ties with their ex boyfriends. She may be quite content that he has moved on but maintains friendly feelings for him. I would ask him if she has someone else in her life and suggest that she can bring this guy if you consent to meet. My current boyfiend has maintained a friendship with one of his exes and when I saw them together I could tell that there was now ZERO between them. I have behaved decently when it comes to the feelings of other women and it seems to come back to me....or has up to now...call it karma. If you are not up to this...don't do it and tell him to break the tie...might be better for all.
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A
female
reader, Tish +, writes (10 August 2006):
Girl I am in a similar situation except she doesnt want to meet me. Anyways dont trust it, Females are the most devious and kniving creattures on this earth and I wouldn't trust her for a second. She could be just trying to get on your good iside so that it can be easier for her to steal your man right from under your nose. My advice woulf be to tell your guy that there is no logical reason for him to regain contact with his ex. She's an ex if he wanted her in the picture why did it end with her in the first place.You have your friends and he has his no need to bring another female into the equation especially an ex. Be For Real, Why does she need to meet you? Let your man know that your not a sucka and you wont be playe dtell him to cut it off with his ex because you just dont need drama in your relationship and thats all un needed drama.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): I would tell you boyfriend before hand how you feel and what you expect of him.
Tell him that you are unsure and feel threatened by his relationship with his Ex. Explain to him that she meant a great deal to him and since he is talking to her; that they are still having intimate conversations that you feel may be a danger to your relationship.
The Ex is still uncertainty as you wonder if she is a good and honest person who poses no threat to your relationship and if you can trust in her as well as your BF to maintain the relationship in a safe and friendly mode that doesn't overstep into boyfriend and girlfriend mode.
How you are feeling is valid.
I say have her meet you and then tell them both you are uncomfortable with their ungoing "friendship". That you would like to have some time with just your boyfriend and away and separate of her for a time until you feel secure and comfortable with the "friendship".
I think that he should be turning to you for friendship and advice and definitely not an Ex girlfriend as this is intamacy and this is what you are jealous over.
Express your concerns and in a clear and calm manner and lay down some rules.
Best of wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): its a girls basic instinct to be jelous of someone that has stolen the heart of someone you love before. Dont lose your guy over somthing silly like an ex. He is over her obviously because he has you in his life and he kicked her out.
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