A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend says he never masturbates. Said he's tried it before when he was younger and it doesn't give him pleasure. But I'm very skeptical about that.We're both 27 and in a long distance relationship. I have to masturbate when I'm feeling horny, how is it possible that he doesn't? He says he gets rid of the frustration from going to the gym. Is that really enough?
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (28 April 2009):
He might be telling the truth. I have heard that there are guys like your B/F, but - like you - I have always been a little skeptical.
Even though it's a common practice there is considerable social stigma associated with masturbation. At best it's a very personal, private activity. Your B/F may be embarrassed or afraid to admit it. Don't hold that against him - if he admits to masturbating it's a sign that you have a very special place of trust. One reason for his fear to admit it is that many women, whether naturally or through socialization, are at least mildly turned-off or even disgusted at the idea.
I don't know what ground rules you two have set regarding sexual exclusivity. If you think that a little self-pleasuring will keep him faithful, but the lack of it increases his temptation to cheat, you're only partially correct at best. MANY guys - including myself - report that the orgasm from masturbation is actually more intense, but less satisfying than being with a partner we care for.
It's good that you are able to talk about this with him, and seem to accept it as normal and natural. If it comes up naturally you can let him know that masturbation is OK with you, but don't pester him about it. It is possible that you know everything you need to know about this aspect of his life, but if there's more to learn it'll happen when he is ready to tell you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): Well, there's nothing quite like the real thing is there? I can honestly say that in the last 20 years I haven't either. Haven't felt the need, but I've never been in a long distance relationship that required some sort of pressure relief valve!
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (27 April 2009):
 my boyfriend says this too and i am very skeptical. but at the end of the day its not really any of my concern whether he does or he doesnt. it probably causes him embarrassment when i bring it up so i leave him to it. x
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