A
female
age
30-35,
*ae
writes:Me and my bf have been together for a little over a year. At first everything was fine. We always talked and got along great but now he doesn't really talk anymore. He says there's not much to talk about since we are always together. We're together pretty much 24/7, but never alone. Since he is good friends with my 3 brothers, at least one of them is always with us or we are always going with friends and he talks to them instead of me. I've even told him this and he deny it. I told him that there's his whole life he could talk about but he just don't see any intrest to talk about it. When I talk to him he doesn't say much, just short simple phrases. Nothing Ii could really respond to. How could I add some excitement to our conversations?Every time we argue he makes it seem as it's my fault, and that I'm going crazy! When I tell him how I feel he says "do you know what your saying? You know how stupid you sound?" Seems like he doesn't really take a feeling into consideration. When he talks, I listen but when I talk he won't listen, he just interrupts me. When he's proven wrong (that rarely happens cuz he thinks he's always right) it is so hard for him to apologize, possibly too much pride in himself. I get nowhere when I argue with him cuz he always has to win but how do I get anything to him if we were to just not argue or say anything at all? I've tried calmly talking to him but he gets mad. He says he wants to be with me and that I'm the one but how can this be when we argue about 4 or 5 times a week. According to him, we argue because of me, that I take too much things up the ass. Every time we argue, he thinks he could just go sleep and wake up the next day for everything to be fine, like nothing happened but I can't let him do that. He can't just run alway from the problem. When I'm sad he gets mad when I'm mad he gets madder. I don't know what to do. How can I make him see my point of view or make him see how I feel? How do I make him stop denying everything? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (27 April 2009):
 sounds like youre both stuck in a rut! the first step tp getting a relationship back on track is to make time for just the two of you! either arrange to go out or tell your brothers to leave you alone for a while! secondly, you need to think of specific things which you would like to talk about! when you ask something like 'tell me about you past' he probably thinks, 'this is going to take ages and theres nothing interesting'. so you have to be spesific about what you ask like 'what subject did you most enjoy in school?' 'what was your favourite film when you were young?' this way you can talk to him and get to know what you want and he wont feel weighed down. in an argument if he blames you for something then just dont speak to him! if you are silent and stay strong i'm sure he'll back down! even if it means you not speaking to each other for a month do not back down, this is how you will earn your respect from him!!! x
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