| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ive been with my boyfriend a year and 1 month now we met when i started uni saw each other for 6 months before getting together. and i met all his friends and who hed been with. there was one girl who he almost become sex buddies with because they were both single but when he met me he told her no. i got along with her and didn't mind her thought she was a nice girl.but in the last recent months of our relationship on a night out she was all over him trying to convince him to cheat. he refused her but she was persistant was till he told her a big NO.he told me i laughed it off. then a month later she made a thing out of inviting us both to her birthday but only invited him. he saw her on his way back from work by accident said hes hellos and went home.last week she and lots of our other mutual friends were at my boyfriends house party, she wouldn't give us 5 minutes alone to have a kiss outside or anything. tried constantly to get his attention, to the point where he became over affectionate with me to reassure me. this girl was at the party quite superficial with me, saying your such a nice girl, what you been up to quick conversation.the party ended up moving to a club i didn't go because i had to be up early the next morning. my sister stayed and told me the next day the girl had tried being clingy with my boyfriend, touch him link arms but my sister said hes with me love. my sister then said to my boyfriend, i am not the most observant person in the world but she was even making me feel uncomfortable. my boyfriend said i know i never would i love your sister to much but shes my friend, theres not alot i can do about it. i know this because my sister told me the next day and said he really loves you. my boyfriend emailed me the same day to say went ok babe i was lucky because the girl was all over my mate. he hangs out with her in groups of friends and there going to an event with each other and one mutual friend this weekend. he has invited me but i have work that day. ive said to my boyfriend it is making me feel quite insecure. ive stopped contact with my ex because he wasn't happy me even talking on facebook just normal 'hi' you ok yeah cool. we spend less time together text less because we are passed the honeymoon period and like having our own space. i realise my insecurities are probably misplaced and daft , my question is what is the best way for me to feel more relaxed about it?
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female
reader, Batterytea  +, writes (12 June 2011):
 Well there's no surefire way to really relax when something like this is happening, but it really does sound like your boyfriend is firm and stands his ground. Don't worry about that girl; I personally think she's acting quite foolish to be so persistent when your boyfriend is clearly uninterested (your boyfriend probably thinks so too).
But y'know, just chill. I'd be proud to have a boyfriend that wouldn't succumb to temptation like that.
But if you really do feel insecure, just find more quality time with him to do fun things together. Cuddle with him and such? Complimenting him will likely make him more apt to compliment you, which in turn boosts your self esteem, which makes you feel so much better about that silly third wheel, no?
A
female
reader, kylieekristina  +, writes (12 June 2011):
 I think your boyfriend should put her in her place, even if its in a nice manner.....this should make her back off and you feel better.
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