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female
age
36-40,
*anieGirl1985
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now, we were together once before but I broke up with him after the birth of our son. Now I catch him looking a porn and pictures of men with men on the computer but I have to beg for two or three weeks for him to have sex with me. We only had sex two times last month! I don't understand what this means, could you help me out with it please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007): Wow, I am going through the same thing. our sex life was crazy good until i got pregnant. I had a very hard prenancy, sick all the time, hospitalized, then complications in the end. He is our miracle. It was about 1 month after the baby I started to feel more like myself and getting active. I noticed how he hogs the computer and asked him to show me how to download music on our program. He was very annoyed at this and even started a mini fight. I soon saw there was gay porn videos, only. After days of denial, he confessed and said he really likes the "hardcore" side of it. He just has a couple of short clips he like to masterbate to to fill our intimacy void. (He was sexually abused as child too) I feel like we are getting reaquinted and he swears he is straight and assures me he still finds me very attractive. I let it go, and have to trust him to be honest, because in the end, he will suffer the most if he lies.
A
male
reader, Comet star  +, writes (9 January 2007):
this is ok, you do not need to worry, it could just be a phase that he's going through or it could be that he is bisexual
whatever the reasons ask him and stop begging him for sex. he will have his reasons and i'm sure he will be more than happy to tell you, my friend had a similar situation and her b/f's reason was that he missed the male role model in his life and wanted to make up for it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): Well, I have to say, he is either gay or bisexual, as I have never known a completely straight man to look at hardcore guy on guy action. I think a serious conversation is required here between the two of you.
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A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 I agree with Shandy and Vina... something is going on here that isn't quite right, but that doesn't mean it's WRONG either. He could be looking at the man on man porn simply out of curiosity, and feels embarassed that you caught him, so he hides it. But there also could be more going on that meets the eye. The fact that you have to nag him for sex for weeks at a time actually speaks louder than his porn habit. If your relationship is honest, and you ar communicating, then the sex should be more frequent than this. They say that "Sex is the forst thing to go when a relationship is troubled."
I'd suggest that you confront him gently, in a non-threatening, and non-judgemental way. You need to remain calm to really hear what he has to say, and he needs to feel safe and accepted to really tell you the real reasons why he looks at this type of porn. Yes, he could be gay or he could be bi. Try not to pass judgement if he tells you either of these things... it's not like he can MAKE himself straight
If he does admit to looking at the porn because he thinks he is gay or bi, then you face your next issue. What do you do? I think that should be your next question.
So, it's time to do some information gathering, assess the situation, and get back to us, after you have digested what he has told you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): You two need to talk. Find out what this is all about. I know blokes who would never under any circumstances look at other blokes so there must be something going on in his head. Find out and then deal with it. You may have to decide to split up if he does want to experiment.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (9 January 2007):
 He's probably in an experiemntal stage of his life right now or maybe he's bisexual or gay even? He's gotta be one of those because I've never heard of any completely straight guy who likes gay porn. You should discuss it with him and ask him what's going on. Ask him if he likes men and ask him what's with his lack of sex drive. Maybe he would prefer a man instead of a woman like yourself? Maybe he has been bi all along and has been hiding from you or maybe he's just exploring something new? You say you 'catch' him so that means he's hiding it from you and considers it to be something he shouldn't do. You two need to talk about it.
You're not ok with this are you? Well then you need to talk to him about it and get it all out in the open and get some answers to your questions.
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