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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of 5 months who I love dearly has just left me. I have met his mum & Dad but he hasn't met my Dad yet. He lives away from me and we both have no cars, so I would always stay at his weekends. He is half Jamaican and my father is Italian, my real mum passed away when I was 7 so I live with dad and step mum. My father would not agree my relationship but I was willing to fight for my boyfriend as I love him very much. My boyfriend recently said he couldn't see me anymore until I told My father about his race. As you can understand I am stuck in the middle. I could lose both of them and this proves that my boyfriend has no patience so if things didn't work out then he would leave me anyway. PLease help ? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2005): I was in the kinda the same situation. I dated a person of another race for almost a year. My parents are 100% against that. After about 6 months I finally told my father because my boyfriend and I moved in together, and I knew he'd find out anyways. At first he said "it's your life, ruin it if you want to." Then one night after all my father's friend saw me with boyfriend, they called my dad. My dad called me at 3 am and told me I had to come over right away. He told me that I had to choose between my family and my boyfriend. He said he'd disown me if I didn't. I was so in love with my ex that when I pulled up at the house my boyfriend and roommate had to carry me in the house because I was crying so hard. My ex never got mad about me not telling my dad, because he knew what the reaction would be. My ex told me that if it came down to it, he would never make me choose, he would leave on his own. Because he knew I could never make a decision like that. Your ex?? If he gets mad over that, think of what else he would get mad over? That's something you need to tell your father when you're ready, not when your boyfriend is ready. I know how it feels to have parents who don't approve of that, and I had to wait until I felt it was the right time, until I was ready for the grief and consequences. My boyfriend had nothing to worry about, but I did. And the same with you. So if he can't understand that, then there's not much he will, and he doesn't care for you enough to give you time, then you don't need him
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reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (24 February 2005):
 Your boyfriend obviously has a chip on his shoulder. Saying that though, it shouldn't matter what his race is. If you feel this way about him then you should tell your father how you feel and convince him of this. You never know, he might be more accepting than you give him credit for.
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