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anonymous
writes: Dear Agony Aunt,I have a problem with being able to be alone! I have no job but am continuously looking for work but I don't have the best qualifications because I left school before I should have done due to bullying. I'm studying now for computer studies! My dad left me and my little sister when I was nine and lived with another woman, I got bullied all throughout secondary school and when I was 16 I was sexually assaulted. Then I started a course at a new college and met a really lovely bloke. Trouble is, that I have no friends of my own but he has plenty! Anyway I got pregnant and had an abortion nearly a year ago and I regret it deeply. I have no one to turn to. My boyfriend is always round my house and loves me very much but there is nothing that he can do that seems to ever be good enough. I have in the past whilst going out with him tried to commit suicide and also resorted to self harm. I'm begining to feel like doing it again and don't know who to turn to! My boyfriend is always tired and moody and whenever I try to tell him how I feel he snaps at me or just isn't interested. I feel so alone!! And also my dad's girlfriend has now split up with him and he is now living with my nan and grandad. He is an alcholic and won't admit it and had already nearly died as a result of this. I look after my nan and grandad and now my dad but this gives me no opportunity to sort out any of my problems or do anything that I want to do! I feel so so alone, could you please help me before I go over the edge? Thank you for your time.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2007): Well he needs to snap out of it as there are 2 people in this relationship! He could be worried or stressed about something so try and approach him even if he does snap at you. If all else fails, dump him. You have to put your needs first
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 February 2005):
 I think that what has happened to you in your past is certainly affecting your present life. It seems you have low confidence and I think that it is important that you try to build this up. This has to be achieved on your own really so that you know you can rely on yourself. It would be good if your boyfriend supported you and you could indeed ask him to help you but if not, you have to find ways of raising your self esteem. Counselling could perhaps help you deal with some of the unresolved issues you may have and it will also give you someone neutral to talk to.You need to be able to make some friends;perhaps joining a club could be an idea? You could look in your local library for ideas.Could you and your boyfriend do something social together? I wander why he is moody and tired. Is it due to work? Maybe you could try and find out why he is this way. You need to work together to help each other.You say you look after your family which takes up a lot of your time. Is there anyone else who could stand in for you sometimes? A carer perhaps? Or even someone else in the family? Try to find as much support as possible with the different agencies.I do hope this helps.
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