A
female
age
41-50,
*arah1974
writes:i have been with bf for 13 years. recently i found out i could screen his calls and found a number that hed been ringing 3/4 times a day i got a friend to ring the number and found it was a female.I have been having these dreams that he is cheating for a while and when i told him about them he said its going to bug him now that im having these dreams. Later that evening he spent 20 mins on the phone to her but in all other respects he has given me no signs of cheating. please help Reply to this Question
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I think my bf may have cheated on me! What do you think? I think my bf is cheating on me...how do I stop being so paranoid? |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 First of all, 13 years seems like an awful long time to be bf/gf. What's the future hold for the two of you? Children?
My advice: Ask him what it is he wants from your relationship. If there's no reason to stay together other than companionship, and you're both happy with that, fine. If not, I think it's time to move on.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, lisa newton +, writes (17 January 2007):
I can understand that it must be hard for you to not be bothered by these constant phone calls, it would drive me insane!however, i think you need to sit your boyfriend down and tell him how you feel. Its completley understandable that you are not happy with these phone calls and he should respect that - at least it shows how much you care for him.I wouldnt recommend that you continue to screen his calls because if he found out he may be offended and see it as an invasion of his privacy. if it turns out that he isnt cheating on you then you will feel guilty for doing it and he may be hurt by the fact that you dont trust him.if you decide to confront your boyfriend...then make sure that you make it clear to him that its not because you dont trust him - knowing that someone doesnt trust you can hurt people - just say you need to know because it is playing on your mind and even causing you to have dreams.i hope my advice has been of help to you. if you need any other advice feel free to send me a message :)good luck, it'll all be finelisaxxx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 January 2007):
 If he hasn't mentioned this friend to you before and appears to be hiding her existence from you then you may have a problem. Calling someone 3/4 times a day is pretty weird unless he is having an affair. Not sure how you can bring it up without admitting you snooped through his phone but you need to "out" this friend and find out what the heck is going on. Good luck
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A
female
reader, eternalleroze  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 Hi there,heard of the old saying " where there is smoke there is fire" , thts what comes to my mind when i read your Q.3 to 4 times a day is not normal for a female friend to call a guy unless a)its his wife - even then notb) its his daughter - i dont think so cos then u wud knowc)its his sister or mother - again u wud knowDoes he know you have been screening his calls ? If not i think its time you sit down and have a talk to him , talking of how you feel for him , how much you love him and what you expect of him.It all starts with long phone conversations and text messages , I am sorry but you need to address this issue immideately but very calmly.Clearly determine from this conversation what his feelings are for you , and where you stand in his life...and what are the milestones you want to acheive with him in your life ?If this continues after your conversation then you have to tell him the truth about you screening his calls and finding what you have found.By the way how long have these phone calls been happening ?
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