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female
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*ostinadangerousrelationship
writes: I have been in a relationship with my son's dad for almost 4 years now. After we found out that we were having my son, he started getting verbally abusive, and eventually physically abusive. I have tried to leave him but I can't get away. Now that my son is 2 he is really abusive. He threatens to kill me so that I won't have my son, and I also have 2 girls by a previous marriage. I am scared for my family, but he says that if I leave he will kill me, and that he will never let me be. I have called the cops, but they say that they will put us both in jail, and they will not put him out of my house. I don't know what to do anymore. This holiday weekend we got in a huge fight because I wanted to go see my grandma, and he told me no. He wrapped a towel around my face and neck and told me he was going to kill me, and he kicked me in the middle of my back and it knocked me all the way across the living room floor. This time his brother saw it and tried to help. I need help! Any suggestions would be great.
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female
reader, bonitasninas  +, writes (18 December 2008):
I have been there. I called cops n they sent ME to jail. And they wonder why we wont call? BUT there are places where poeple does help. It is a Womans Shelter. First slowly get your and your kids stuff packed and hide it or if you can do it all at once grab what you need and LEAVE!! If you cannt grab all your stuff then dont worry, the shelter WILL help you. I was forced to stay with my ex husband cause he threatened to take everything away from me. He chocked me when I was pregnant drug me out of our house on numorus occassions threw stuff etc. I called to report but nothing was done. We have to step up and do whats rite for our kids. get out!! The woman Shelter will help you and your kids. They are secretive and only the police will show you if you dont know where one is! Just grab your kidds and go to the police station ( I know but ask for a woman police officer she'll help a lot better if you are not comfy w/a male)they will bring you to one. The shelter will take you you will go throgh a process and then they will help you get on your feet. They will put all of you in therapy to help get ya'll through all of this and also help out on get you ready to go to work and everything you need to do to keep him from harming you and the kids! Hold your head high momma, your kids need you especialy your girls who are seeing this. you don't want them to follow in the abusiveness. I broke mine before it was to late. I just pray that my daughter doesnt follow in my moms, sisters and my footsteps! A man is not to hit a Woman at all! bottom line! GET OUT the first chance you get!! let me know I'll be praying for you guys and waiting for a response.
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female
reader, bonitasninas +, writes (18 December 2008):
I have been there. I called cops n they sent ME to jail. And they wonder why we wont call? BUT there are places where poeple does help. It is a Womans Shelter. First slowly get your and your kids stuff packed and hide it or if you can do it all at once grab what you need and LEAVE!! If you cannt grab all your stuff then dont worry, the shelter WILL help you. I was forced to stay with my ex husband cause he threatened to take everything away from me. He chocked me when I was pregnant drug me out of our house on numorus occassions threw stuff etc. I called to report but nothing was done. We have to step up and do whats rite for our kids. get out!! The woman Shelter will help you and your kids. They are secretive and only the police will show you if you dont know where one is! Just grab your kidds and go to the police station ( I know but ask for a woman police officer she'll help a lot better if you are not comfy w/a male)they will bring you to one. The shelter will take you you will go throgh a process and then they will help you get on your feet. They will put all of you in therapy to help get ya'll through all of this and also help out on get you ready to go to work and everything you need to do to keep him from harming you and the kids! Hold your head high momma, your kids need you especialy your girls who are seeing this. you don't want them to follow in the abusiveness. I broke mine before it was to late. I just pray that my daughter doesnt follow in my moms, sisters and my footsteps! A man is not to hit a Woman at all! bottom line! GET OUT the first chance you get!! let me know I'll be praying for you guys and waiting for a response.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): I am so sorry you are going through this. I went through a similar situation and finally found my way out after 5 years of HELL. The best advice I ever got was simple but super powerful.LOVE NEVER HURTS!!! If someone loves you....they will NOT hurt you. Please find a way to get out. Call the police or a dear friend and run like mad. The most important thing you can do is make up your mind and go. Don't ever look back, just run like hell to get away and one day you will find yourself far away doing well. I wish you and your son all the love and luck in the world. You will both be in my prayers.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): thats so cruel. if u need help, get help! i sorta know what your going through. i also sometimes get slightly physically abused my my dad. but my case is nothing ccompared to yours.he threatens to kill u! thats just insane. he might have a serious health problem. your not the one who needs counciling... he is!! get help right now!! he seems to definately have anger management problems. did he undergo any changes like: did a family member of his die, is he scared of something, does he think of his life and himself as nothing and no point of happening? the whole situation is kinda crazy. he could be angry with the child u recently had because he might feel scared for the child. he may be scared himself. maby he doesnt want to be a father. mabey he is scared that the child will look up to him as "father." he probably knows of his anger management problems and doesent want to harm a child in any way. DEEP DOWN INSIDE I THINK HE REALLY LOVES YOU (OR MABY NOT!) HE COULD THINK THAT ANOTHER CHILD WOULD RUIN HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU!!!BUT SERIOUSLY EVEN IF HE DOES LOVE YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM HE IS EVIL!!!!!! i hope i helped.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): omg i am sorry call the police leave fast
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female
reader, ALEY KAT +, writes (2 December 2005):
IF SOMEONE WANTS TO KILL YOU AND IS MAKING YOUR LIFE HELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND CALL THE POLICE, AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!!!! ESPECIALLY FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR SON!!! THATS NOT A HEALTHY ENVIORNMENT FOR A YOUNG BOY!!! IF YOU STAY ANY LONGER, YOUR SON MIGHT WAKE UP ONE MORNING TO AN INJURED, HALF DEAD, OR EVEN A DEAD MOM!!! NOT TO SCARE YOU, JUST TO GIVE YOU A REALITY CHECK!!! HOPE MY ADVICE HELPS SOME-WHAT!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2005): i dont know where you live, can u post on here or email me asap [email address blocked] this bloke needs to go to prison
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (30 November 2005):
 I don't know where you live but I live in Great Britain and there is no way on this earth that the police here would tolerate such domestic violence. They have stepped up on it to protect victims of such abuse. I am horrified at the police's reaction in your case.
I would ring them again and ask to speak to someone who deals with domestic violence and explain that you need protection. Also express you have your children to consider also. He should not and will not be allowed to get away with this sort of behaviour. His threats to kill you are such a serious offence. He can be put in prison for that alone. The police MUST be aware of this.
You need support and you need to get out asap. Women's Aid are are a charity to help women in your situation. Their number is 0808 2000 247. They will provide support and even a place of safety such as a refuge for you and your children. They assist in empowering women and also meet the needs of children in such a situation.
You need to get to a place of safety immediately. I don't know where you live but if you are in a different country to me, there are organisations that provide similiar support. If you are on the internet, type in domestic violence support in the search tool to find an organisation close to you.
Any family or friends who can support you, also approach them. You need protection from this man and you must do something now.
Please don't hang around for him to do something worse. I know he is threatening to kill you if you leave but you can get the help you need and be as far away from him as possible.
Please do something today. We are always here to help if you have any further problems or any other questions.
My thoughts are with you.
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (30 November 2005):
My God, this is a serious, serious, seriouos situation. What is happening to you and your kids is horrible, horrible can't even explain it, it is wrong, and outragous that a human being could do this to you or anyone. First of it is good that you realise what he is doing is wrong and that you do need ot get out of this sitation A.S.A.P. I don't quite understand that why the cops said, they would put both of you in jail? why you as well? what have you done?If that is true, well don't you think that going to jail would be alot better then being abused and threatened ot be killed. it would be better for you and most of all for your kids. What he is doing is against the law and shouldn't be put up with.I understand you very very very scared, that is totally understnadable, i can't imagine what your going through it must be horrbile. But use these feelings of fear to motivate you to get out!!!!If the police can't do anything about it, which i must say seems very wrong, and i dont quite see how they cant, so i would suggest calling agian, then call a help line!There are many help lines out there that r for people who r being abused of in immediate trouble, they are trained and professioanl counsellors ok. Now if you can tell me where abouts you are (what country, state...) I will find the numbers that you can call. Another idea is to take your kids and go to the hospital. If hes abused you or your kid/s phsyically and you are injurded go there. Tell me do u think he would be capable of hurting you in public, more so killing you? if you in the hospital you will be protected and they will set you up with cousnellors to talk to and get the police to help out.listen, be brave, you have to. is there anyone, like a friend or family memeber who u cna call and who can come and support you? i know he has made u scared of reaching ut for help, but you cant let that stop you, you have to take a chance because if you dont you will feel scared for the rest of your life. You can do this. Ive heard many stories where women in abusive relationships get out of them and live again.After this is over I think you deffintly should go into counselling as its very traumatic what your going through. Or better still try to get into counselling now where yoru counsellor can help u seeek help.once again, i cant underetand why the police would say they cant do anything, and not even investigate when someone is being threatened ot be killed...did u tell them that?Let me know how this goes and i am here to keep on supporting you!
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