A
female
,
*at14
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for a month now he's 16 and im 15. i do trust him its just...He told me about this girl he really fell for and has never liked anyone as much as her before. He met her on holiday and became really depressed when he had to leave her. This happened about a year ago, he sends her e-mails and phones her sometimes. He recently told me he's going to visit her. I told him i was worried all his feelings for her would come flooding back, n that i would seem like a very good catch when he got back to Milton Keynes. He told me not to worry i was the one he wanted and that he needed to see her to close things properly.Any tips on how to stop myself worrying i dont want him to think i dont trust him, i dont think he'd cheat. But im still worried his feelings for her will come back.
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (1 April 2007):
I think it's inappropriate that he's going to visit her at all. I'm all for male and female friend relationships but he had more than that with this girl, he fell for her big time and I don't think people ever really get over the person they fall that in love with, whatever happens between them.
They've kept in touch so obviously still care for each other, whether that's as friends or as more but you need to talk to him about it. Why does he need to go and see her? Isn't keeping in touch with her enough? How would he feel if you went swanning off meeting your exes? He needs to think about your feelings and you need to decide whether you trust this guy or whether you feel you're just filling in for her when she's not around.
I hope they are just friends and speaking to him puts your mind at ease. I must say, I wouldn't let my partner go and meet his ex girlfriends, but maybe that's because he isn't friendly with them anymore. I know it's hard to understand and accept but sometimes we have to let our partners do things we're not comfortable with. You're only young and this will happen in the future.
It's a tricky one, I can see it from your point of view but asking him not to go is going to cause problems and you don't want to be that type of girlfriend do you? Talk to him about it, see what he says. See if he thinks this is appropriate and whether he's thought about how you would feel, knowing he was there with her. If you trust him, let him go. If not, you know what to do.
Good luck and let me know how it goes or what you decide.
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