A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:will someone pls tell me why i treat my gf so horrible yet i love her sooooo much,im never there when she needs me yet shes always there for me no matter when.i have had numerous gf prior to this one,yet i didnt treat them as bad as this.i know if things dont change im going to loose her and i dont want to as i know in my heart i want her to be my wife as she really is the best in everyway. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): Good advice soulsista and I would be interested in reading more answers on why this guy maybe doesn’t treat his girl the best. I speak from the other side of this issue - My ex treated me horribly even though I was always there for him, treated him amazingly, etc. He even said that I was far more fun than his ex (who was cheating on him too), etc and yet he treated her like a princess and worshipped the ground she walked on and I suspect still does. I just seemed to get the leftovers, which I found really upsetting and hurtful. I wrongly allowed him to treat me badly, and it ate away at my self esteem and self confidence to the point where there was nothing left when we broke up. When I needed him most, he bailed out and to this day has not asked me what the trouble was! I wondered if my ex has issues with women as when we split up he said ‘life’s a bitch and then you marry one’! I loved my ex to pieces but I realised that I deserved better.
I urge you to get help as soon as possible as it maybe the damage has already been done because after 2-3 times of my ex being unkind to me, my feelings for him started to diminish. I wonder if, possibly, you are fearful of these feelings of her being ‘the one’? If this is the case, there is nothing wrong in being fearful, but this is not the way to deal with those feelings if you want to keep your girlfriend.
If you are truly serious about her, tell her you realise you are being horrible to her and that you are sorry for the way you are treating her and that you are going to see a counsellor as soon as possible to look into why you are doing it and hopefully how to take steps to rectify it. Hopefully, she will see you are serious in trying to change, and stick by you as she has done before.
Otherwise, I suggest you set her free as soulsista said.
I wish you all the very best and let us know how you got on.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (1 April 2007):
 It sounds to me like you have issues with women in general and maybe need to change the way you feel about us. Maybe she allows you to treat her badly so you continue? Maybe it's a power trip to have a woman stick around no matter what you do to her? Has she done something in the past that has upset you more than you think and you now resent her?
I really can't answer this question, only you can, with the help of a counsellor. You need to get to the bottom of the way you feel about you, about her, about women in general and realise how to move forward and keep this girl who sounds like a star who deserves better than to be treated badly.
She obviously loves you and you need to get a grip and sort this out. Maybe she does allow you to treat her badly, maybe she's insecure or just loves you too much, but you have to sort yourself out or let her go. If you love her, you want her to be happy and if you can't do that, you have to free her.
Good luck.
...............................
|
