A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Seaking advice from males and parentsI have been seein my bf for 6 months (dating for 3 months before) We get on great He has kids from a previous relatonship I have never met the kids. They live a long way away. We were long distance before as he traveld with work. I found this real hard. He is now living closer to me Tho he has only been here a week. He is now going away on holiday. The thought of three weeks without him distroys me tho i do understand that time with his kids is precious.I want to ask if i can go up there while he is away as i am on hliday too. Im not expecting to meet his kids or for him to spend all his time with me but i want to go up there just too see him. Does anyone think this is an ok thing to do? I havent had many relationships and am nervous to ask.
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female
reader, jabey +, writes (20 December 2006):
I do agree with the previous answer, but also Im a parent and understand the difficulty of introducing children to a new partner. We all wish to protect our children and not confuse them. Even when we are totally in love there is always a little fear of what if this does not work out the children will also suffer a loss. He obviousy loves you as he has moved closer, and yes tell him whats on your mind. But dont be upset or offended if he just wants time with his children. If he does not see them that often that time will be precious to him and he may not want the distraction. And three weeks will fly by, and also in that time he will really miss you and come back hungry for you, what a fab feeling that will be. Mention it but be cool if he is not keen, its no reflection on you. And if he is keen then you had nothing to worry about in the first place you cant loose.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): Everything is OK to ask your partner, if it is bothering you, I think. He has moved nearer to be with you, so that is a very positive sign that you have a long-term relationship. His children complicates the issue because he may be worried about how to explain you to them. That is just a guess though.
I think if you pick the right moment and just tell him exactly what you have told us, that you will feel destroyed if he goes away and am nervous to ask, he as your boyfriend will either offer for you to go with them, or he will give you a reassuring reason why it is just him and his children. I think if he does this in the right way maybe you'll feel better with him going without you?
Have some faith in your relationship by letting him know what's on your mind. I am sure you are overly worrying about it and that it will work out just great. All the best :)
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