A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This all started a while ago, me and my boyfriend have been together for 11 months and I used to be able to just ignore it but now it's getting ridiculous.My boyfriend has had a bad past with girlfriends, cheating, stealing, using etc and he has this disgusting point of view towards women, which he doesn't exactly hide from me.whenever his guy mates are there (and I’m in the room) he'll slag women COMPLETELY, saying they are all heartless bitches and that the only thing he'd miss about them is the sex and other stuff like that, trust me, that's not the worst.He'll sit for hours on the phone when I’m with him continually slagging women off and when I say I’ve had enough and walk out he says "see, I’m right."I’m sick of being grouped together with bloody cheats! :(any ideas on how to get him to shut the hell up?Xo Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): Thanks Pebble!
Yes.. that is annoying. He needs a woman whose self esteem is so low that she enjoys hearing him put down every woman in the room, because it makes her feel like she has less to compete with. But clearly there is some reson you want to be with him becuase all you want to nkow is how to shut him up... not how or if you should leave him. But prehaps he needs a threat?
Well. he's been with you for a while... so there's somethign he likes about you that's more than sex. If he was only interested in sex, I think he would be out having one night stands instead of being in a relationship. That was he wouldn't have to deal with the woman afterward.. or he would be out cheating on you.
So found out what it is that he likes about you and ask him, does he really want to lose that? He's pushing you away... Tell him that he can't base you off of every woman and if he ever wants to keep one, that he has to have respect for her. That you don't deserve to be in a relationship where you are constantly talked down to.. that he is currently being so rude and inconsiderate to you.. that he's the only one who needs to be .. slagged.. i suppose.
That you've not cheated, you've not done these horrible thigsn to him, so why should you have to be grouped with all the others? that you are good to him and he wants to keeo that in his life, he has to treat you the right way.
I don't know girl.. he's so hardheaded that you just gotta figure out what pushed his buttons.. what makes him see the light.. waht would show him that you're really hurt by him and that he needs to change. Once you figure out how you needs to talk to him, based off of his personality, then you can start saying things to make him stop.
~SY.
A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (13 June 2009):
Talk to him, this has obviously come from past experience, explain to him that you understand why he feels that way, but, you are not one of those girls, you cant box a gender, & if he ever groups you into one of those groups, realise he's just preparing himself to save himself hurt based on past experiences, the only way you can get him to shut up, is to agree, understand and sympathise, even if he calls you one, agree with him, this sounds ridiculous, but he'll imediatley come to your defence, I've learnt surprisingly you can't win an argument by arguing.
Just try my idea, you've got nothing to lose, & let me know how it works out!! :)
xx
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 Well, you are showing him wrong. Not all women are cheats. Some are just plain stupid.
Just what makes you willing to accept all this? That is what you should be worried about. Let him sort out his own problems. Why do you feel that have to put up with this.
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A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (13 June 2009):
 Lol, 'slagging' means talking bad about someone, saying bad stuff or expressing a bad opinion on someone/something.
However, 'slag' is a derogatory term for a women who sleeps with lots of men.
teehee ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): You can tell a lot about your partner by the way they treat others. If they are gossips, it's likely they talk about you that way. If they slag their exes, it's likely you will get spoken of like that if you become their ex, too.This man sounds awful and it makes you wonder what he is with a woman for if they are so terrible and he can't stand them! Sounds like he has some issues, and I hope you don't get caught up in them.He might be nice to you now, but it is only a matter of time before he starts verbally abusing you. After all, you're a woman too. Next time he starts spewing hatred, tell him you will not be around him when he does that. If he carries on and on, then relieve him and let him be without a woman!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): What does slagging mean? I've learned snog.. but what about slag? slagged.. slaggage.. slagger..
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A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (13 June 2009):
I'm sorry but there is absolutely nothing attractive about a man who has no respect for women.
What is it about him that makes you want to stay? If he had ANY respect for you he would keep his opinions out of your earshot, because lets face it they are extremely offensive to you as his girlfriend, aswell. He's basically saying the only thing he'd miss from YOU would be the sex.
You're not going to change the mind of anyone whose opinions are so ingrained, no matter what you do.
If I were you, I'd be running in the other direction right now.
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