A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So where to start... my boyfriend and i had the perfect loving relationship until maybe a week ago, when he suddenly started acting distant and stopped being as affectionate and was not saying he loved me as much. I noticed something was really wrong and it made me really anxious, so finally I confronted him. We had a long talk, and he confessed he has started talking to his ex again (they broke up when he left the U.S. and moved here, which is when he met me). At first he said the reason he was thinking about her so much was because, since they broke up, they hadnt spoken, and just recently she'd made contact again. He thinks he probably still has some feelings for her, though not at all the way he feels about me, and he tells me he's accepted he can't be together with her.He is a perfect, loving boyfriend and there is absolutely nothing I can fault about our relationship, except for his feelings for his ex. I'm glad in a way that he's been open with me about it, and not secretive, because he says he doesnt want to hide anything from me and be completely open and honest.Even so, he was good friends with his ex when they were together, and now theyre talking again he doesnt want to cut contact. I understand it would be unfair and unreasonable to ask him to do that. I just feel hurt and uneasy because he is still talking to her, and he's told me she still hints to him about how she would really want to be with him if they were together, and that she'd be willing to wait until he returned to the U.S (if he ever does). He said he will ask her not to say those things, yet he still skypes her frequently and enjoys talking with her. Im trying to be understanding, but my emotions are really getting in the way. I dont want him to be having these thoughts about anyone else, but I cant change his feelings, and he's told me he would never want to break up. Any advice?
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female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (16 February 2013):
I know is must be very difficult dealing with this situation at the moment and you are very understanding of your boyfriend and this is good .I think this may be for you a waiting game and hope that your boyfriend may tire of contacting his ex-girlfriend.However i would continue to keep a watchful eye on the situation and on your heart. Best Luck. Nora B.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): I'm sorry I don't think that is fair to you. You love this man who doesn't want to cut contact with his ex, and he is already acting distant to you because of it. I'd let him know this is putting a strain on your relationship & if he does want "you", he needs to make you the priority & it is not ok to stay in contact with another woman who is trying to win him back.
Good luck....
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